anxiety time

By David Robbins Friday, December 11, 2009

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Anxiety is getting the best of me this morning. It hasn't been this bad in weeks. I feel alone in this. My head is light my nerves are jumping. I want to jump out of my skin. My thoughts are clear. Clear thoughts will overpower the anxiety.

"Have a Jolly Jolly Christmas, is the best time of year by Burl Ives ." Is playing in my mind.

Now Johnny Cash is singing "I fell into a burning ring of fire, I went down, down, down and the flames went higher, and it burns, burns, burns the ring of fire."

Ever get to a point in life where you feel so alone? Ever get the point where you feel what you do is right and no one else does? Ever feel the love of what you do burn in your heart? Ever feel that the "ring of fire" surrounds you and envelopes you? Ever feel that despite the challenges you face you try and try to no avail to "let go." Ever feel you do your best and then wonder where it comes from? Ever believe that no matter what everything will be okay as long as you hang on to the hope of all things getting better?

It amazes me how one day I feel like I'm on top of the world. Then the next day I'm flooded with anxiety and fear. I have too much going on. Maybe Margaret is right that I'm too busy. That thought is running through my mind. Balance is what I need and desire.

Voices and lyrics race through my mind

They want to rule me all the time

Its hard to laugh and easy to cry

The tears flow out of my eyes

The tears of joy and tears sorrow

Promise anew in the great tomorow

The world will spin

My mind will too

Until I find the one that's true

Live, love, laugh, learn, listen,

David

Changing of the guard

Comments (4) | Add comment

Christina Bruni, Health Guide

12/11/09 6:45am

Hi Dave,

I liked your poem and also the analogy to the ring of fire.

I would rather do what I know is right than to kow-tow to what other people do or expect me to do.

Sometimes I feel I operate on a higher frequency than a lot of people.

Oh well. You can't please everyone and you can't be all things to all people.

You can only be true to yourself.

Peace,

Christina

Janet

12/11/09 4:06pm

Hi David. I too know exactly what you are going through. At times I feel great and even go sa far as to say I am the most stable I have ever been since my first diagnosis. At other times I lay in bed praying that I would die. I try to remember to count my blessings not just at Christmas but at all times. I know I am no angel but I allow my Father and a sister to get the best of me. It seems as if both can be hard to get along with. I pray everyday that the relationship between me and my Dad will improve and I pray whenever I visit my sister in Fla. or she comes home that I do not allow her to upset me.

My Christmas Wish is that we all get along and Enjoy the time we have together on earth. Christmas also can be hard because most of my brothers and sisters live in Fla and most of my nieces and nephews also live out of town.

I do enjoy the time I volunteer at our local hospital in the giftshop.

Janet

12/11/09 4:06pm

I do enjoy the time I volunteer at our local hospital in the giftshop.

abcd

12/12/09 9:45pm

Hello there,

i am studing this wonderful book of philosophy written approximately 800 (!) years ago by a wise sage.

Amongst his writing is this: "even if you are alone in the world and have no friends or family, you are not really alone, because the presence of G-d is everywhere. There is no place in the world that is devoid of His presence... If you are alone in the world take Him to be your friend and companion... And you will never feel lonley or bored when you aren't in the company of others. Nor will you feel it necessary to rely on other human beings for happiness and comfort..."

I am not quoting the exact words, but this was the general idea. i found great comfort here in my pain and hope you will find them of some use too.

anxiety time

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