Its been said to me that by going to church won't help or heal me. I may not be healed from my SZA, but my faith has made me stronger to move on. I have emotions like never before. My love for my fellow humans is strong.
When I started to do Suduko puzzles I couldn't do them. I told myself I was gonna figure them out no matter what or how long it would take. I did it. When I stopped smoking I told myself that no matter what I was gonna quit. My body and mind screamed for just one puff. I withheld and stood against those urges. My struggle with this latest addiction is proving to be the hardest thing I've ever gone through. The urge is too great and the availability is immense. I will overcome this! I WILL OVERCOME!!! I know I've written alot about this subject. I have to. If I leave it to my own defenses I will fail. A couple of years ago I decided to take on the voices. Since that time the voices come less often. Its the fight that counts. Its a hard fought fight but one that I must take on. Will I fall, maybe. Will I stay down? NO! I am fighting this almost alone. "If there's no try there's no do."
Although Christmas is over I still here "Jingle Bells" in my mind.
I have to pick up a friend for church later this morning. He's a nice man.
Yesterday I made a pistachhio walnut bundt cake. It was yummy.
I haven't anything else to write. OH! I have been working a little on my book.
Take care all!
Keep your feet on the ground, the sun on your face and the wind at your back.
Live, love, laugh, learn, listen,
David
Good morning, Dave. I will be off to Bible Study and then church in about 10 minutes. I just stopped to read your post and comment. When I was really in the depths of battling depression and schizophrenia, it seemed there was no god. I thought I would never reconnect with him. Now, I think the connection was never gone, I was just in such spiritual darkness that I couldn't find it. Sometimes I couldn't even find my front door.
And here I am, going to church and worshipping again. Not depressed. Just a few negative symptoms of sz. And I feel like my joy right now is found in helping others. That seemed to be one of Jesus's themes. I am only left kind of groggy by the meds, but I think I am ready to sit and pay attention.
I will be praying for you today, that you will overcome this addiction. Cigarettes were fairly easy for me to give up. My addiction to exercise was hard to re-channel into more productive pursuits. My gluttony is still a problem. But I'm working on it. I like to eat a whole lot of the "bad stuff." But I tell myself that this is due, in large part, to taking Zyprexa. It gives me an appetite like nothing else ever has, 24x7.
Carolyn