My name is Cassandra Angelina Rounds.Iam 21 years old ive been diagnosed paranoid  schizophrenia last year when i was 20 years old.I sort of knew that i needed therapy all long ever since iwas in high school,but i didn't know what was wrong wit me until last year.I use to have tensions and stress alot.Actually it started when i was 17 years old.In high school i used to come 1^st in class all the time .I had my share of guys wanting to ask me on a date but i was very academic motivated i wanted to foccuss on my studies.(I always wanted to make my parents proud of me.I guess its the only way i could get their attention and love.)But then most of the boys in class got fed up with me and my refusals.So they overheard me talking to my bestfrend on the ideal guy that i would go out with.

Hence,they came up with an imaginary guy who exactly matches my description .So i went along with their story and told them to tell him to come over to my place.For some reason it went out of control ,the whole class started to gang up on me and started to threaten me saying that the guy would keep a look out of me and if i was walking alone he would come and rape me.And other abusive words.I got scared and was always on the look out.The mistake that i made was that i didn't tell anyone not even my parents cos i felt it was my fault.I started not to trust people around me ,always on my guard and when iam out in public iam always looking around me wondering whether this person was looking or watching me.I started to believe that there were cameras in my room or in my bathroom.It really affected me socially and personally.I started not to go out often.It wasn't until the next year when i was 18 years old at the end of the year that i found out that the guy doesn't exist .A gal who got transferred to our school told me that it was jus a prank because the students in my class were either jealous of me or hate me for being smart.It really hurt me as my best frend was also involved in this.But infact it was too late knowing this fact since i had already got the habit of always being in the lookout for the unknown as well as the fact that cameras exist wherever i go.However,with all  this happening i studied hard got myself the best scholarship in the country to study in university.In my first year at uni i used to have lots of tensions and stress alot.There were also gals who used to envy me one of my cousins stayin in the halls told me.It wasn't until the 2^nd year at the end of the year that i started to hear voices.At this point i had no frends as i find it hard to trust people,this is due from the high school experince.I started to believe that cameras exist in the bathrooms or in my rooms.If there we gals laughing outside my room i used to believe that they were laughing at me.I thought i heard them saying that iam a stubborn bitch.Iam a very religious gal i used to pray alot whenever voices comes in my head.Or sometimes fullblast the radio to drown out the voices.For one reason or another my grades got affected .In my 2^nd year i decided to sacrifice alot to improve my grades.This means no boyfrends  n outfits were the same everyday cos i didnt have time to go shop for new ones.I didnt go for socials etc.I got excellent coursework marks as a result.All i needed to do was jus to put in a bit of effort in the finalexams to get straight A's.I studied hard and best on my own.But there was this boy who needed help so i decided to help him and as a result i overlooked my studies .When i set for my papers i attemptd the calculation part well only the theory part i wasnt able to answer them as i had overlooked them which i should have done instead of helping this boy.It really affected me i couldnttake jus passing the unit i wanted a A in that unit.I guess at that point i snapped.I thought that the whole world was against me.Hated me.I thought the lecturers were talking about how i copied my assignment from someelse and jus wrote my name on it.In fact i got the 2^nd highest in the assignment and it was my own effort i was 20 years old most of the other students were 23years old and above.I walked out of the exam hall in jus an hour it was a   three hour paper.I couldnt take the voices ANYMORE.I went to church and cried there  i wanted to end my life.My sister came and took me to the campus doctor who dignosed me with paranoid schizophrenia.I received medical attention.Fortunately it was the end of the semester i recovered in the semester break with the medication.I was prescribed with Olanzapine.The side effects are weightgain and drowsiness.I gained six kg and decided to stay off the medication.As i researched on the net that some schizophrenics learnt to live with it and also in controlling it.I have changed alot.M enjoying life.I am jus glad that iam alive and that i still have my schlorship.My sponsors thought that i had eye problems during exams.Iam back in University hopefully ill finish this year as it is my third year(final year).Another good thing is i received a whole lotta love from my parents and relatives so i now i dont have to study that hard to get their attention.Iam taking each day as it comes and am jus letting God direct my life.My story hasnt ended i have great plans to become someone in life.Someone that could raise awareness about this illness.My question is it a smart move to stay off medication.Also i want to get into touch with other schizophrenics out there .Please email me kailomababe@yahoo.com. Jus wanna share stories of this illness .SO PLIZ BE IN TOUCH.