This illness I live with is not anything that anyone anywhere can relate to. We have to had had some experience to relate. I have had a wild but wonderful week and all the time I am think that only God  gave me this because i can handle it and use it to help someone else. I like others traveled a long road to get where I am at today and I stil feel forward, forward. Itried to drink it away, drug it away and still today even med it away to no avail. I accept this and I will  move forward, forward and forward. My doctor puts me on more meds for he can not acept the fact that twenty years of untreated psychosis is treament resistant. I do and I accept the fact that I can only manage to live with it but to the best of my ability. My mental health counselor understands and is trying to get me to try new things to help manage. I accept. I am going to wait a little while longer and I am going to accept the tuittion funding from the state and go to school for psychology. My medical doctor says that i am very healthy even though I smoke cigarettes and I am going to work with my age and be the best I can be. I have been told by SSA that I now have to stay under the SGA and I have a counselor to help with that. I have also been advised that I should try to write a book about my life and how my illness has affected it. I was told this because I am what is known as high functioning. through the help of the web, my doctors and honesty, I know I am ill. but i feel that just because I am ill, I do not have to just sit and wait on whatever. I can and will seek and enjoy life and love doing it. I will continue to keep my voices in check by the best means I know without any harm to anyone or anything at all. I shout, May God bless you all.