My dads story

By dg Monday, July 27, 2009

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Hi my name is Dean and my dad is a alchaholic schizophrenic from the age of 6 i remember visiting hospitals waving goodby not realy knowing what was wrong.At the age of seven i stood between him and my mom to stop him hurting her i think i was braver then than i am now. As i grew up he got worse and my mother left him when i was 7 but he never really left, he would always be walking around singing talking to himself and shouting obsenaties about my sister and my mom. talking about the devil and all sorts. How could i go out when the people i hanged around with sore this. One of the memory that sticks in my mind was on a rainy day he went out the house just in his under pants with the family dog walking around the streets funny i know but can never forget this then when he came back my mom wrapped him in a blanked and called for the men in the white coats they came and took him away.He would dissaper then turn up at random times as i grew up he once even burgeld my family home. He got a house not far from me when i was about 10-11 i remember going over to see him with my sister he said people where putting things outside the door bent coat hangers and all sorts then he turned the other angry person came out obsenaties started flowing me and my sister ran away as fast as we could this really hurt my sister when she was younger dadys little girl a. She deals with it better now we both do im now 28 and my dad never got better he's lived on the streets been in hospital on life support twice. He recently got ran over and in a funny way this has helped him he got off the streets and is beiing cared for in a support house he wrote me a letter and i went to see him hes still ill but least i know hes ok for now! I know he will never get better iv'e stoped hopping for that mirracle and accepted the way he is he gave me a hug and for the first time i can remember he said them three little words i love you.Who knows what will happen next but one thing i know is i can never hate him hes always in my heart and will stay there forever i love him the way he is.

Comments (6) | Add comment

Daleri

7/27/09 6:40pm

As hard as it was for you and your sister, just think of how hard it must have been for him believing and fearing all of those things. It is hard to know what to do. The person has to change almost everything they ever thought or believed and it is hard to get a person to make that change. I am glad that they were able to do something for your father so that he could write you that letter.

7/29/09 10:57am

My fathers state of mind was enjuiced by alchahol and drugs he made that choice to pick up a bottle. The time for sympathy towards him has long past for me. It's different for the people who had no choice and it was past down through the family. I fell sorry for them. But i will not spend my life feeling sorry for a man whos actions created the problem.

Daleri

7/31/09 4:04am

It is probably a little of both bad choices and symptoms and/or circumstances that were out of his control. The key is care and concern which might otherwise be described as love. That is the thing that does the most good. It requires giving up and letting go of offenses and hurt but it is very effective.

I hope the best for you and your father.

David Robbins

7/28/09 5:56am

Hi Dean,

I was deeply moved by your sharepost. I'm glad you found peace with your father.

My dad is also an alcoholic. He continues this day to verbally abuse my mother. He is in his 70's and isn't in good health (he never told me that , but I can tell). For the last 4 or 5 years we email each other quite often. How I feel and remember him is totally different. Instead of seeing him as a drunkard, I look at him as a man who did the best he could for us. Late last year his sister died. I will always remember the call. He was crying and very distraught. They were close. I had never seen or heard my dad cry. It was very heart breaking. The thought brings tears to me eyes.

I got side-tracked for a bit. I love my dad and I told him so in an email. He didn't say it back but he knows how I feel.

Thank you for sharing your life.

Peace,

Dave

7/29/09 11:13am

I went to a alanon meeting lastnight and talked about my father alanon has always been there in my life its what saved my mom inturn saved her children. If youve never been its a meeting place for friends and family of alchaholics a great way to meet and talk to people in the same situation as me and you, if you ever need to unload try to find a meeting near were you live im sure there will be one near you. Im sorry to hear about you fathers ill health i hope he improves. THanks for the reply its nice to talk to someone in the same situation all my love goes out to you and your mother.

Christina Bruni, Health Guide

7/28/09 11:26am

Hi dg,

Your life has not been easy living with a father who has schizophrenia and alcoholism. Your love for him and your caring will ultimately help him heal. I'm sure he does appreciate your love even if his behavior is sometimes at odds. Hopefully he will stabilize by living in the residence and can have some relief from his symptoms.

Feel free to write here again whenever you feel like it. We are a welcoming community and understand what it's like to have a Dad with schizophrenia.

The positive thing is that you have been able to accept his limitations and you accept him where he is right now in his life. This kind of support will go a long way in helping him and it is also a healthy coping skill for your own feelings about what goes on-the skill of acceptance.

Have a good day and like I said feel free to contribute as often as you'd like.

Regards,

Christina

My dads story

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