10 Tips for Supporting a Family Member with Schizophrenia

Allow Space: This isn't just about physical space it's also about emotional space. Schizophrenia may limit capabilities but it doesn't mean you should take over the person's life. Equally, there is nothing to be gained from criticism, shouting, use of threats, or assuming an air of authority or superiority. Everyone needs time out and every so often it's simply better just to let things slide, as you would with anyone else. If you see every day as a challenge and you start to feel resentment, you are over-involved. It's time to step back.

Set Boundaries: This isn't a contradiction of the previous tip, it's actually the counterweight. If we accept the rights of an individual we also need to consider their responsibilities. Certain things are simply unacceptable and other things require feedback and some expectation that things will improve. Violence is one example, but matters of personal hygiene, sexual behaviors, time spent in bed, use of medication, are just a few examples where boundaries may need to be set. If you struggle with boundary setting you should discuss the matter with a mental health professional, who should be able to offer guidance.

Don't Forget Yourself: These last three tips are about you. We all have needs but the role of caregiver is one that can easily come to dominate your life. It is important to maintain your links with friends, family, hobbies and interests. A structured and involving life is important for everyone and while you may need to modify your needs from time to time, this is not the same as shutting down your life completely.

Stay Positive: Nobody can take away from you the years of commitment you have given or are about to give. You have experienced, or you will experience, a huge range of emotions. Faced with this it may seem a little superficial to be advised to look on the bright side. My argument is that it makes sense. Your emotional journey is part of a process that will hopefully lead to compassion and greater understanding. If you allow your mind to fill with gloomy thoughts, anger, frustration and resentment, it quickly becomes exhausting and your own mental health will suffer as a result. It can help greatly if you network with others in a similar situation to you (see below).

Seek Help & Support: By now you may have seen a psychiatrist, a social worker and nurses. Your experience may have been very positive, mixed or negative. Professional advice can be extremely useful but it is not really designed to meet all your needs. Sometimes you just want to talk to someone who lives what you live and who actually experiences the turmoil you feel. Sometimes you are in a position where you can help others. There are many different places to seek or offer help and support. For example, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) provides extensive information. This link takes you to their Find Support page. NAMI also offer a free 12 week Family to Family education program. The National Institute for Mental Health (NIMH) also maintains a website packed with information, tips, advice and topical research updates.