Married to a paranoid schizophrenic

asurvivor Community Member August 12, 2007
  • I have been married for 28 years to a woman who was diagnosed 17 years ago with paranoid schizophrenia.  It has been a challenge that I would say is nearly insurmountable, I say that because there are so many aspects that you have no control over.  Things such as whether or not they are taking their meds or not, or if they are taking them at all.  My wife was 32 years old when she was diagnosed and from what I have learned the younger you are at onset of symtoms the worse your case is.  My wife has gone through times when she thought the medicine (Haldol) was sugar pills and she stopped taking them.  There are shadow people outside the house and she can hear them taking about her and telling her she is evil.  The people on the TV are talking about her and saying the police are coming to get her and take her to jail.  She actually had real surgery on her neck recently and now she thinks they have installed a chip in her neck so they can track her.  You have to make your own decisions in your life but my advice to you would be to not marry someone diagnosed so young, to do so would make you a savior to someone you cannot save.  Schizophrenia is such a devastating disease and marriage should open new horizons for a couple not close them.  Good Luck my Friend....
32 Comments
  • Christina Bruni
    Health Guide
    Aug. 13, 2007

    Hello survivor,

     

    Thank you for your honest suggestions.

     

    Best wishes with everything.

     

    Regards,

    Chris

  • Anonymous
    ED
    May. 19, 2011

    My father is a schitzo and I will always have a 10% chance of developing this illness. After reading atricles saying to not be with a schitzo breaks my heart. Me and my soulmate have been together for 7 years and I can not imagine being with anyone else for the rest of my life. If I ever develope this illness, I will never get through it without him. I pray...

    RHMLucky777

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    My father is a schitzo and I will always have a 10% chance of developing this illness. After reading atricles saying to not be with a schitzo breaks my heart. Me and my soulmate have been together for 7 years and I can not imagine being with anyone else for the rest of my life. If I ever develope this illness, I will never get through it without him. I pray that if this ever happens to me, my soulmate will stay with me through everything.

  • Futuredays73
    Apr. 10, 2011

    I have been with my fiancee for five years and went into the relationship knowing she had a history with delusional thinking with the belief that she has telepathy with a famous couple that constantly pummel her with insults. She comes from an abusive family that had it's share of mental illness and hearing stories of what they were like and having spent time...

    RHMLucky777

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    I have been with my fiancee for five years and went into the relationship knowing she had a history with delusional thinking with the belief that she has telepathy with a famous couple that constantly pummel her with insults. She comes from an abusive family that had it's share of mental illness and hearing stories of what they were like and having spent time with them myself.

     

    How can I make the distinction between schizophrenia and post traumatic stress disorder. I am curious whether the two mental illnesses can have similarities or even go hand in hand. I can say over the five years we have been together, the delusions have gotten less severe and less frequent.

     

    I know she used to believe she was getting phone calls and receiving mailings from the persecutors, although during the time we have been together she has not made such claims. Of course that is not to say we haven't had some really trying times since what still exists is the re-occuring paranoia that she has a telepathic connection with these people, which while in the worst stages of the illness she cannot be convinced otherwise.

     

    Despite the symptoms, she has been able to hold down a job and often function though the illness, rarely having it effect the job she does. Also the times that she is not experiencing the delusions, she attributes the abusive thoughts to what she had endure with her parents and that she tends to transfer their abuse onto the people she believes are "after her".

     

    Oddly enough, the reduction in the frequency of the "attacks" does not make it easier though. In someways it makes it a little more difficult as it is frustrating to see this person capable of so much, with so much intellect, ability and a good heart be crippled and devistated by something that just isn't there. She wants to be defended, but I feel helpless to do so and don't know what to say as I don't want to fuel the delusion. Although my attempts at not fueling the delusion are viewed by her, while under attack in her head, as being unsympathetic.

     

    This is someone I love and care for and sometimes I feel that the method that is in her best interest is not the one she wants. She seems too capable to be committed, although it can be sometimes a tough climb back to reality. Am I being unsympathetic by not letting her indulge the delusions? Should I let her scream, shout and give identities to people who are simply not after her? Or am I best at telling her she needs to gain control of her illness and not let it own her?

     

    While I am not free from my own issues as a sufferer from severe panic and repetitve obsessive thought patterns, I try to convince her to try methods I use to get though every day (and believe me, it can be quite a challenge), although I am not sure if those translate to what she is having to deal with. I try to get her to concentrate on the fact that the delusions are not real rather on what they may tell her, but that does not always yield positive results at the time of the mental break.

     

    Any advice would be appreciated.

     

    • Anonymous
      bluntmaster
      Jan. 20, 2014

      i have had schizophrenia for almost ten years.  i have found that figuring out the difference between what is real and what is not is very important.  when i have a bad thought i just tough it out.  also i deal with bugs crawling on me.  i let them bugs tickle the crap out of me and after awhile ive gotten used to them.  sometimes i...

      RHMLucky777

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      i have had schizophrenia for almost ten years.  i have found that figuring out the difference between what is real and what is not is very important.  when i have a bad thought i just tough it out.  also i deal with bugs crawling on me.  i let them bugs tickle the crap out of me and after awhile ive gotten used to them.  sometimes i don't even feel them.  also building your threshold for emotional pain really helps alot.  ive been telling myself for years that it just doesnt bother me and i have gotten used to it.  i have come to the conclusion that if you can deal with alot of pain then alot of things in life don't really bother you.  i have learned to deal with it and that helps me not be so paranoid because i have learned to not let the symptoms make me sad or angry.  for me having these emotions lead to me getting paranoid and a racing brain is no good for paranoid schizophrenics.  the less you break down the better things will get.  i used to think that someone will come and euthanize me when i am sleeping.  so i slowly but surely have come to terms with my mortality and taught myself not to worry about death.  this has caused me to have much less paranoia cuz i dont let things scare me and i always try my hardest not to let my emotions overwhelm me.  and trust me my brain really starts to race when emotions get to me.  because when you get paranoid, a whole lot of other bad things will follow.  strengthening your endurance, never ever giving up, and recognizing what is real and not real are very important things when you are dealing with a very scary disease like schizophrenia.  it is much easier to deal with your emotions when things do not scare you.  i have gotten a black belt in karate, which in turn takes some of the load off my shoulders.  i am much more at ease and now that i know what real physical pain is, i don't feel so bad no more.  for years now i have slowly taught myself how to deal with what bothers me instead of curling up in to a ball and crying.  and trust me, a less emotional schizo is a much less paranoid one as well.  and i know for darn sure that i will never ever give up and let paranoia take over.  the more your brain starts to race the worse schizophrenia gets, i know that for a fact

  • Lisae99
    Jun. 28, 2010

    I've been married for fifteen years and it started when we were married 2 years.  It has progressively gotten worse and he criticizes me when his episodes are bad.  They come around every two weeks.  He believes everyone is out to get him and paces the floor angry all the time.  He doesn't believe he has an illness and doesn't believe in...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    I've been married for fifteen years and it started when we were married 2 years.  It has progressively gotten worse and he criticizes me when his episodes are bad.  They come around every two weeks.  He believes everyone is out to get him and paces the floor angry all the time.  He doesn't believe he has an illness and doesn't believe in taking medication for it.  My daughter and I have felt so stressed and so tired of dealing with these episodes...I love who he is, but I don't know if I should stay any longer or not.  Any suggestions?

    My email is: streamsoflight99@yahoo.com.

    Thank you,

    Lisa

    • JakeP
      Jul. 15, 2010

      I have been married to a wonderfull lady for 40 years. We were high school sweethearts. She was everything I could have ask for and more and have always confessed she is more woman than I deserve but God lead us together and now after 40 years I am thinking of divorce. What a nightmare "PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENIC"!

       

      She became ill 6 years ago at the he age...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      I have been married to a wonderfull lady for 40 years. We were high school sweethearts. She was everything I could have ask for and more and have always confessed she is more woman than I deserve but God lead us together and now after 40 years I am thinking of divorce. What a nightmare "PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENIC"!

       

      She became ill 6 years ago at the he age of 51. I know it should not be possible . All the books says the chances of it happening this late in life is about

       2% but that 2% is my life.

       

      So everyone that reads this knows the symptoms of Sch. and my wife has most of them. Our married daughter is aware of the diseased and has witness it first hand so my support with family is ok.

       

      I have followed all the Psh. Doctors advise for 6 years. All the meds and even  having her picked up my the police for not taking her meds and not going to the doctors. What a sad sight seeing your love one of 40 years being taken away in a police car.

       

      My experiece with the Psh. Doctors( 3) has not been good. They act like they are gods and know everything but I find out all they know is how the cash the Checks I give them.

       

      So after 40 years to the woman I still love I am going for a divorce decree.

      Because I have found even with meds and constant attention by me she is still Hell to live with and I am just worn out and depressed  and cannot live the rest of my life fighting against the diesease and the Doctors. LIFE IS WAY SHORT.

       

      I need advise on divorcing someone who will not accept  Disablity Ins.  other help from the Govt. even though diadosed with Sch. 6 years ago.  The Social Security Agent told us that he was 99% sure she would be approved but my wife told her Pch. Doctor that she did not want her illness disclosed to the govt. and he did what she ask , so no finaciial help for her even though she had worked as a nurse for 40 years. She thinks it will be on her    'RECORD '.   I need her to have a income because I cannot support her and myself in this economy. We owe no one and and lease our home but other than a 401 plan that is all I have. So if  anyone can advise I will thank you in advance.

       

                                                                     Thanks for Listening to me

                                                              Look forward to your responds

       

    • JakeP
      Jul. 15, 2010

      I have been married to a wonderfull lady for 40 years. We were high school sweethearts. She was everything I could have ask for and more and have always confessed she is more woman than I deserve but God lead us together and now after 40 years I am thinking of divorce. What a nightmare "PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENIC"!

       

      She became ill 6 years ago at the he age...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      I have been married to a wonderfull lady for 40 years. We were high school sweethearts. She was everything I could have ask for and more and have always confessed she is more woman than I deserve but God lead us together and now after 40 years I am thinking of divorce. What a nightmare "PARANOID SCHIZOPHRENIC"!

       

      She became ill 6 years ago at the he age of 51. I know it should not be possible . All the books says the chances of it happening this late in life is about

       2% but that 2% is my life.

       

      So everyone that reads this knows the symptoms of Sch. and my wife has most of them. Our married daughter is aware of the diseased and has witness it first hand so my support with family is ok.

       

      I have followed all the Psh. Doctors advise for 6 years. All the meds and even  having her picked up my the police for not taking her meds and not going to the doctors. What a sad sight seeing your love one of 40 years being taken away in a police car.

       

      My experiece with the Psh. Doctors( 3) has not been good. They act like they are gods and know everything but I find out all they know is how the cash the Checks I give them.

       

      So after 40 years to the woman I still love I am going for a divorce decree.

      Because I have found even with meds and constant attention by me she is still Hell to live with and I am just worn out and depressed  and cannot live the rest of my life fighting against the diesease and the Doctors. LIFE IS WAY SHORT.

       

      I need advise on divorcing someone who will not accept  Disablity Ins.  other help from the Govt. even though diadosed with Sch. 6 years ago.  The Social Security Agent told us that he was 99% sure she would be approved but my wife told her Pch. Doctor that she did not want her illness disclosed to the govt. and he did what she ask , so no finaciial help for her even though she had worked as a nurse for 40 years. She thinks it will be on her    'RECORD '.   I need her to have a income because I cannot support her and myself in this economy. We owe no one and and lease our home but other than a 401 plan that is all I have. So if  anyone can advise I will thank you in advance.

       

                                                                     Thanks for Listening to me

                                                              Look forward to your responds

       

    • Displaced Man
      Oct. 24, 2012

      Me and Jess have been together 17 years. She was a once free sprit kind of person. So full of life and loving. 6 years ago she started to think I was cheating, that me and my friends were mentally changing places to have sex with each others wives, speaking to me words like she has NEVER spoken before. She often told me while watching T.V. ads that they were...

      RHMLucky777

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      Me and Jess have been together 17 years. She was a once free sprit kind of person. So full of life and loving. 6 years ago she started to think I was cheating, that me and my friends were mentally changing places to have sex with each others wives, speaking to me words like she has NEVER spoken before. She often told me while watching T.V. ads that they were her idea and the government was stealing them from her. I could go on and on and on, but, the most painful memory was when she threw me out of our home. There was nothing I could do. I called her to ask if I could go collect some of my most sentimental belongings only to find that she had thrown everything I owned in the garbage. She ended the call with "I don't need you to take care of me anymore, I don't EVER want to see you again and I don't love you anymore." I am heartbroken. The only person I ever truly loved has been taken from me by this most terrible disease. I am severely depressed sinking all my time into work to keep my mind busy. I know this sounds heartless, but, GO. Start over. It pains me to tears typing this but if you want what we all seek, it will not be found with someone with SZ. As I type, Jess is in the living room talking to people who aren't there, laughing, cursing God, and breaking my soul into little pieces. I have already planned to move when her parents come to get her next week. I am so sorry for you. God be with you

  • Lisae99
    Jun. 28, 2010

    I've been married for fifteen years and it started when we were married 2 years.  It has progressively gotten worse and he criticizes me when his episodes are bad.  They come around every two weeks.  He believes everyone is out to get him and paces the floor angry all the time.  He doesn't believe he has an illness and doesn't believe in...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    I've been married for fifteen years and it started when we were married 2 years.  It has progressively gotten worse and he criticizes me when his episodes are bad.  They come around every two weeks.  He believes everyone is out to get him and paces the floor angry all the time.  He doesn't believe he has an illness and doesn't believe in taking medication for it.  My daughter and I have felt so stressed and so tired of dealing with these episodes...I love who he is, but I don't know if I should stay any longer or not.  Any suggestions?

    My email is: streamsoflight99@yahoo.com.

    Thank you,

    Lisa

  • Anonymous
    condemnation
    Dec. 27, 2009

    I'ts very hard to be in a relationship with someone that's schizophrenic but someone that also is bipolar is I think hell I commend those that stay together and fight it out because it is a struggle everyday.  Everything hat I think could be a lie but it could be the truth I don't know anymore.  I think my fian'ce loves me but he doesn't understand...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    I'ts very hard to be in a relationship with someone that's schizophrenic but someone that also is bipolar is I think hell I commend those that stay together and fight it out because it is a struggle everyday.  Everything hat I think could be a lie but it could be the truth I don't know anymore.  I think my fian'ce loves me but he doesn't understand I don't really understand many times he was going to leave but  I think love is stronger then this illness but I would say talk about it I always thought I was the only person living in hell but I found out that I'm not.Smile

  • Anonymous
    DeeDee
    Mar. 21, 2009

    My husband is 34 and was diagnosed at 18.  We have been married now for 6 years. I married him knowing full well about his illness.  I can't say its been a bed of roses but life is good, today.  It is alot of work to be married to him, and yes I sometimes wish I had not married him....like the days when he curses at me or is short tempered with...

    RHMLucky777

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    My husband is 34 and was diagnosed at 18.  We have been married now for 6 years. I married him knowing full well about his illness.  I can't say its been a bed of roses but life is good, today.  It is alot of work to be married to him, and yes I sometimes wish I had not married him....like the days when he curses at me or is short tempered with our two beautiful girls.  Over time it has been a roller coaster, and I accept that it will always be that way.  I accept him as he is but when he can not make the rational choices, I make them.  I read eveything about his illness and meds, talk to his theripist but don't ask about his sessions, look for red flags in his behavour, count his pills...hide nothing from him and tell him when I tink we need to go to the hospital and that I will make him go!  I am in his face about his illness....Because I know that the man he is is worth it...I will fight this illness for him when he can't.... Yes I understand the feeling of no control...I hate the illness....I resent the illness.....but not him.  But I also don't waste time feeling sorry for him...or me.  And anger is useless without using it to improve things instead of tearing things apart.

     

      That being said....we have had are share of problems aside from his illness (things that are made worse by his illness but not caused by his illness.)  Because he is stable on his meds,  we have been able to address those issues.  I don't know if any of this helps but I guess what I'm trying to say is, the illness and the person are two seperate things.   You can't make a  choice about the person untill the crisis is past and you both have some healing.  The strength my husband has shone in fighting his way back to me and out kids.....that's where I get my stength from.  I admire him.  I love him more then I hate paranoid schizphrenia.  I just felt like I should write this  because the things I read on this site seem  to talk about all the bad...there will alwas be bad...its a   incurable illness....it will never go away.....but when I look at my husband, whether its a good day or bad day....he is still in there.  I want him to see I'm still there too.

    • Anonymous
      fearful of PS e...
      May. 18, 2009

      I married my husband not knowing that he had been diagnosed as a PS before the age of 18. None of his family informed me of his condition. When we met he was on medication - this I didn't know either.  When we met he had a job and appeared to be good at what he was doing.

       

      After about a year, he was acting strangely. After the birth of our daughter...

      RHMLucky777

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      I married my husband not knowing that he had been diagnosed as a PS before the age of 18. None of his family informed me of his condition. When we met he was on medication - this I didn't know either.  When we met he had a job and appeared to be good at what he was doing.

       

      After about a year, he was acting strangely. After the birth of our daughter he withdrew for about 10 mos. After three years, he was acusing me of adultery and began physically and mentally assaulting me. He had a hundred reasons why he couldn't work in town, etc.

       

      I knew something was wrong and tried desperately to get him help. He would see a therapist for a few months and then decide he didn't like or trust the therapist. He told me he couldn't be honest with the therapist or he would be put in jail.

       

      This went on for years. He went on anti anxiety anti depression medication which worked for a while but he was consistently paranoid and I could expect a blow up every 6-8 mos. One year he destroyed 5 phone sets - no idea why...  He would regularly hit me punch me, spit on me, and choke me. Our daughter told me a month ago she heard him threaten to kill me more than once. 

       

      Almost a year ago he pulled a knife on our daughter and I after assaulting me for the last time. He was arrested rediagnosed and after three months released. I have an order of protection against him since that time. Our daughter sleeps with a hammer in her room, and wants nothing else to do with her dad. In fact she wants to move.

      We have recently begun receiving bizarre phone messages - clips of various songs - including the Police I'll be watching you combined with other song clips - unnerving...

       

      My advice is before you marry a PS go on line  and research, speak to a therapist and become fully congnizant of the risks.  I was not given the opportunity, and now it appears, I am trapped, harrassed and will lose everything I have worked for.  My daughter has a 10% chance of inheriting this disease and my husband remains a threat to my well being.

       

       

    • Anonymous
      Anonymous
      Nov. 15, 2009

      Thanks to all the people that contributed their stories here. I will write mine as soon as I get a chance. I have a husband who says he has PS, he was diagnosed way before we got married. Things are hard for us right now.

    • Anonymous
      Patrick
      Dec. 14, 2009

      Hi -

      I was married for four years to someome who I believe has PSZ.  Honestly it was difficult to obtain help & has left me reaching for answers.  I've attached here a sample of things she 'posts' on the internet...but this relatively mild compared to other behaviors like convincing the police that I and a half dozen other imagined assailants...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      Hi -

      I was married for four years to someome who I believe has PSZ.  Honestly it was difficult to obtain help & has left me reaching for answers.  I've attached here a sample of things she 'posts' on the internet...but this relatively mild compared to other behaviors like convincing the police that I and a half dozen other imagined assailants are not following her.  It was good to read that there are others who have dealt with this behavior.  In the past her behavior has been terribly violent...and it just seems to get worse as she gets older.  Any feedback would be appreciated.

      Patrick

       

      <Sample of Internet Blog Posts - Names are Removed>

      Microchipped Human Being

      I am a 47 year old female nursing student who was microchipped by her x-husband Patrick. I beleive he had help from President Obama and I have proof. I was microchipped in Feb 2009, under the care of Dr. of Dr.s Hospital Pontiac, Mi. This is where Patrick Powell's second wife worked. I was also microcipped with a thousand microchips via  of 220 Main Street Mt. Clemens, MI. My ex husband was obsessed with me. He helped break up my current marriage and thought when I came back to Michigan he would have me again. I declined and offerred the hand of friendship and he went nuts. He is the product of a second cousin marriage. All who profiled our divorce who were specialists in the field called him bi-polar with sociopathic tendencies. He has had me under sattelite surveillance for 10 years. He put me on the internet under titapowell.com. This was my dad's name for me. In this article it says...RA coil positive coil right? Then under linked in.com they have me in there with Ozzy Osbourne family proprietor. This was the same name as my chart in Dr. office of 220 N. Main Street Mt. Clemens,MI.(I Had a great love for Ozzy Osbourne, Ironman was my favorite song.) The have electrocuted me, poisoned me with arsenic, Agent Orange, ect. They have also poisoned my dog. He hemmoraged for two days from his rectum. He is a WWII Yorkie. His heritage goes back to parachuting down thru enemy lines to give soldiers medical supplies and clear the trenches for them of rodents. I need help and they have coerced or bribed evryone in my family and friends i have known since childhood. I stand alone. Many fearless people write the White House everday with certified letters from all over the world to try and help me. they see what has been going on. One was a Human Female Rights Activists from Russia who died by a gun shot to the head in broad day light. Michael Jackson tried to help me and went thru a cardiac shock for it. Farrah Fawcet tried to help me and died before her time. I have no doubts that no one can save me but I try. One dear friend of mine that not even my family knew that I had was called Olga,( my codename for him as I don't know his real name). We both loved the same woman with all our hearts. She told me about how "he" was her true love. His name as most would know him was Intrepid. I know he is trying all he can to try to save me, he tells me in a code we both understand so that he cannot be immitated. Maybe by my publishing this someone can. My ex husband was carismatic and a sales man he could get anyone to buy into his game if it had the end result he needed, They say he is Vice President of , Mi now living in Novi, MI. With me he needed money and power to succeed. It took him three years to be successful. I am an American. There are a Bill of Rights that protect me from this, There is a Constituion of the United States that is suppose to stop this from happening to me. I have third degree burn scars on my waist from them trying to get a possible love interests name form me.I also have burn scars on my arms from them just being mean. My military watch was constant. If I ventured to far from Rochester they gave me a zap. Heart, vaginally, brain,rectally it was all the same. Trying to get me to do anything they wanted. Trying to brainwash me to doing it their way. They wanted me to kill people. If I did it they would let me live. If I didn't they would kill me. Proudest day of my life is helping save 5 human beings and bringing them back safe. Then they wanted me to be quiet while they had them killed. I would not so the torture began in earnest and the threats more numerous. I am writing this incase I don't make it. They even use dogs to kill their owners. Dogs who have been microchipped or had microchips placed in their dog food. Blind people need their dogs. They have microchipped many people against their will, I know them all because I see them and try to help them. Everday is a blessing. My Ex-husband and all those in cahoots with him; no matter how small or how high up the chain to the White House this goes it must be stopped. I believe President Obama gives University hospitals the right to practice on us against our wills. Maybe to teach their classes. I think some of the colleges are: Texas A&M,University of Michigan, Crittenton Hospital, and Oakland University. Who knows how many in actuallity. This is just the research I have picked up on. 15 years of medicine. I have proof. Sincerely,

    • Anonymous
      Anonymous
      Feb. 16, 2010

      Move....be careful but move....! For you and your daughter. It will be not be easy but will be worth it! I went through the exact same things up until I called it quits five years ago...I still "watch my back"...but at least my son and I are living our lives in the meantime peacefully. Yes, we got the weird music messages on the phone too!. We were married...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      Move....be careful but move....! For you and your daughter. It will be not be easy but will be worth it! I went through the exact same things up until I called it quits five years ago...I still "watch my back"...but at least my son and I are living our lives in the meantime peacefully. Yes, we got the weird music messages on the phone too!. We were married for eight years. He had a great job and family when we were first married.....never since.

  • ALWAYS  ANONYMOUS
    Aug. 14, 2007

    Hi asurvivor,

     

    I am a paranoid SZ who has been through relapses before...and it was related to not taking my medicine or having too much stress.

     

    I had instances where I thought the government was spiritually tapping in my head through spiritual microchips on my forehead, head, or backhand by recording in the computer or printout by these microchips. ...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    Hi asurvivor,

     

    I am a paranoid SZ who has been through relapses before...and it was related to not taking my medicine or having too much stress.

     

    I had instances where I thought the government was spiritually tapping in my head through spiritual microchips on my forehead, head, or backhand by recording in the computer or printout by these microchips.  I remember forcing these spiritual microchips off of me with my head or hand.  This is when I thought that God healed me from my mental illness so I stopped taking my medication without people knowing until I was missing from everyone.  My work and family called the police because I wasn't showing up for work and had not called in or called anyone plus I had wondered off the streets etc... this is when I had my own studio apartment that I was completely responsible for living in.  Of course, I was hospitalized until I became stable from my delusions.

     

    I also remember a different relapse where I thought the government was using the hospitals secretly to kill people who were Christian or not Christian dependant on their criteria through medicine.  So I was scared to take the medication and most of the time would not take it when I was hospitalized....so they injected it.  I eventually came out of my delusion and then started to take it orally. 

     

    I remember another time, I thought my medication acted like a birth control but not exactly like a birth control.  I didn't have my period for one year so I thought that the medicine had some kind of secret ingredient to prevent my ovaries to release in the timely monthly manner.  When I forgot to take my medication three days in a row because I was busy working, I got my period after not having a period for one year.  So this convinced me even more about the secret ingredient....I stopped taking my medication for two weeks after this conclusion.  But through common sense, I forced myself to take my medication again...because I tried to disregard this hypothesis that I concluded.

     

    I've had paranoid SZ for 8 years.  The first 3-4 years of the 8 years, I was in denial of my mental illness until I understood what it was and how it was to me.  As I grow and learn from my mistakes, delusions, paranoia etc... I have grown into a more responsible person aware of my mental illness and grown to be more and more independant as I learn to battle this illness.  Not all my days am I sick, I do have days when I am normal just like everyone else.

     

    Every person is different in their road to recovery.  I think that having family and friends as well as doctor, case worker, or social worker that are supportive, understanding, and available is a factor in the recovery and growing process.  But the person himself or herself plays an important role in going towards a progressive path to a more fullfilling life with a mental illness.  Life is filled with obstacles as a normal person and having a mental illness causes more challenges to it.  Just remember that the mental illness is not the person's fault but an illness. Big Smile 

    • asurvivor
      Aug. 14, 2007
      Dear Anonymous, I appreciate your insight as honest and candid.  Everyone with sz are special people that need special care and I am a concerned and caring husband and father with a life experience that god has choosen for me whether I wanted it or not, just like everyone else endures things they have no control over.  My wife was a vibrant young...
      RHMLucky777
      Read More
      Dear Anonymous, I appreciate your insight as honest and candid.  Everyone with sz are special people that need special care and I am a concerned and caring husband and father with a life experience that god has choosen for me whether I wanted it or not, just like everyone else endures things they have no control over.  My wife was a vibrant young woman 19 years old when I met her and eventually married.  Who would have guessed that 13 years later I would watch her go through such a devasting illness that would take her from an outgoing friendly person to an often catatonic introvert that cannot hardly leave the house.  That was in 1990 when we had to carry her screaming wrapped in a blanket with her father and her brother and I holding her in the back seat while my motherinlaw drove us to the hospital.  She had stopped eating and drinking and just sat in a chair staring at the wall.  She was admitted for three days and given anti psychotic drugs until she signed herself into the hopital otherwise we were faced with going to court and having her commited.  Later I learned she thought we were taking her to be killed while people following us were screaming out their car windows she is evil and we are going to kill her.  My advise to deepz to not marry someone with sz was given in hindsight.  I stated that when your loved one has sz you have it to because you go through the ups and downs  right along with them.  If you could look into a mirror and say I am not going to have this illness I'm sure you would.  Deepz can do this by not marrying his future wife with sz.  He can be helpful, caring and supportive to her without marrying her.  I have stayed with my wife through all the ups and downs because I love her and I am married to her.  I have asked myself what if it were I that had the illness?  Would she stay with me?  I hope she would and not abandon me.  Would I marry her again if I knew what she was going to go through?  I would not.  Would I drive my car over that hill up ahead if I knew I was going be in a bad accident?  I would not.  I think that having these conversations with people going through what I am going through is beneficial and I wish you well anonymous.
    • ALWAYS  ANONYMOUS
      Aug. 14, 2007

      I do not neglect the fact that I have paranoid SZ.  That is why the more I understand my illness, I can address it better with myself and with family and friends.  I am myself dating someone who has depression, another type of mental illness.  I love him dearly and understand a little bit of time how we complement in each other.  God-willing...

      RHMLucky777

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      I do not neglect the fact that I have paranoid SZ.  That is why the more I understand my illness, I can address it better with myself and with family and friends.  I am myself dating someone who has depression, another type of mental illness.  I love him dearly and understand a little bit of time how we complement in each other.  God-willing I hope to serve the Lord with him.

       

      We are both Christians and growing.  I don't have much to offer you because every paranoid SZ is different but I would love to pray you...just message me a private message...I notice that you are a Christian.

       

      P.S.  Lots of my issues with paranoid SZ deals with spiritual matters but I usually don't go into detail...there are more underlying issues in each relapse that I've had in the past.  I notice that your wife thinks that she is an evil person (I went through that too)  - is she a Christian...if so, maybe she did something wrong that she can't find and understand the forgiveness of God or maybe she is misinterpreting the bible or maybe she is struggling with voices.  Sometimes, living life in fear of God is not healthy but can be addressed by prayer and planting simple and loving bible principles and scripture passages that would yield fruit in time. 

       

      May God bless your marriage and may you see the work He is doing in your wife.  God really loves and cares for your wife. 

       

      I know that God takes all the credit for how I am today.

       

      In God's hands,

      Anonymous

    • Anonymous
      MFT Girl
      Jun. 29, 2008

      It was so relieving to read your post. My husband has just started showing signs in the last week and started the meds last night. We are faithful Christians, high school sweethearts, have had an amazing life so far. Now he believes that God and Satan made a deal with his soul and he will forever be alone and then burn in hell. I talked with him last night...

      RHMLucky777

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      It was so relieving to read your post. My husband has just started showing signs in the last week and started the meds last night. We are faithful Christians, high school sweethearts, have had an amazing life so far. Now he believes that God and Satan made a deal with his soul and he will forever be alone and then burn in hell. I talked with him last night about being there for him with no expectations or anything. He texted me a long goodbye text and told me we are over and he won't allow me to be involved with him as a crazy person. I told him I wasn't signing papers until he had been medicated for some time. I truly believe our marriage is over because he has said awful, cruel things and ended our conversation with "GO THE F%&$@ away!" I feel broken and like he has died. Please let me know if anyone has experienced a similar situation and gotten through it. God bless. 

    • Anonymous
      melisa
      Oct. 06, 2008

      I'm going through the same thing with my husband.  we have been married two years and i married him knowing him had paranoid sz.  He was doing so well on his meds you could hardly tell and i was more then willing to help him through anything.  I've noticed that my hb pushes me away not because he hates me, even though he has said he hates me...

      RHMLucky777

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      I'm going through the same thing with my husband.  we have been married two years and i married him knowing him had paranoid sz.  He was doing so well on his meds you could hardly tell and i was more then willing to help him through anything.  I've noticed that my hb pushes me away not because he hates me, even though he has said he hates me but because he thinks i would be better off without him or that i don't want him because he's ill.  I've learned that i need to stay calm, and just ride out the storm, and sometimes i just keep reaffirming that i love him, and i'm not going anywhere, even when he's throwing my clothes out the door and telling me to leave, i just let him know that i'm not going anywhere and he can't push me out.  we have a great relationship but those few times are so trying and it's so hard to get through.  I just keep praying for my hb and reminding myself that i do love him and that God can help us get through that current storm.   Don't give up it's worth the effort :)

       

      anyway if you need support (i know i can always use it, email me all4god1999@yahoo.com)

    • Anonymous
      New To This
      Jan. 22, 2010

      I too married my husband knowing he has SZ and Bipolar disorder 1. He was and is doing very well on his meds when I met him.  I hear from others that his current stability, such as it is, has only been for the last 3-4 years and before that he was extremely unstable.  My husband relays many stories of his delusional behavior and I can hardly believe...

      RHMLucky777

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      I too married my husband knowing he has SZ and Bipolar disorder 1. He was and is doing very well on his meds when I met him.  I hear from others that his current stability, such as it is, has only been for the last 3-4 years and before that he was extremely unstable.  My husband relays many stories of his delusional behavior and I can hardly believe them sometimes because they are so very crazy sounding.  In so many regards I admire him for tackling his disease and conquering so many aspects of it, I know it cannot have been easy at all.  I have not yet been exposed to any severe swings in his behavior as his medication (a combo of abilify and trazadone) manages his disorder very well, but I do see swings in his behavior and very odd habits and patterns that concern me. We are now attending a class to learn how to build a good marriage with good communication skills between us, but the problem is that my SZ husband has skewed perceptions and is in denial that there is anything at all wrong with our relationship.  I feel so hopeless alot of the time that he will never be able to see things from any one elses point of view, that he will not be able to build healthy communication skills since he is convinced that I am the one in the wrong. Thankfully the issues we have are not severe at this point, there are only 1 or 2 important issues he refuses to deal with.  My biggest concern since I have never seen him go through a major episode is that if I keep him focusing on dealing with these issues that he will experience a breakdown and things will spiral downward quickly.  I Guess I just would like some advice on how to acheive compromises with a Bipolar SZ without tripping a relapse in him.  He is often distant, monotone and absorbed in his own little world, meaning he pretty much does whatever he wants whenever he wants without regard for how his behavior affects his spouse or our kids and I am worried about him going over the deep end if I point out that he needs to address concerns I have with the marriage.  Are bipolar SZ's capable of rational decision making? or should I just be happy that he is not abusing himself or anyone else and not engaing in addictive behaviors and call it good enough?  I NEED A SUPPORT GROUP, I want to be a good wife to him but I want him to achieve as much as he is able without pushing him to far.  Any suggestions? You can also email me at chatyrbocks@yahoo.com

       

      Sincerely

      New to this

    • Anonymous
      mbomango
      Feb. 06, 2008
      You are very courageous for your honesty.  I am friends with a man who is in your situation.  It's heartbreaking - I feel so sorry for them both.  They have a son together and he stays in the marriage because he thinks it's best for the son.  What a tragedy this strange mental illness is!  I find it hard...
      RHMLucky777
      Read More
      You are very courageous for your honesty.  I am friends with a man who is in your situation.  It's heartbreaking - I feel so sorry for them both.  They have a son together and he stays in the marriage because he thinks it's best for the son.  What a tragedy this strange mental illness is!  I find it hard to cope with the fact that she makes so little effort to help herself; won't follow dietary rules, abuses her medications, and emotionally blackmails him - says she'll commit suicide if he leaves her.  What a mess!  At what point can a spouse say "enough"!  He has stayed with her for ten years, tried all kinds of treatments, medications interventions, counseling, etc. . . as soon as she stabilizes she finds some doctor who is willing to prescribe medication for pain . .and the cycle re-starts.  He does not want to feel responsible for her suicide, even if intellectually he knows he wouldn't be.  How would he explain to his son?    All I can do is listen and try to provide some objectivity.
    • asurvivor
      Feb. 06, 2008
      Your friend has a big problem.  Not only does his spouse have SZ, he has serious marital problems.  He needs to get his son into separate counceling immediately.  Staying in a bad marriage complicated by SZ is not best nor healthy for their son.  Your friend needs to seek help for his spouse whom has threatened suicide.  This is a buzz...
      RHMLucky777
      Read More
      Your friend has a big problem.  Not only does his spouse have SZ, he has serious marital problems.  He needs to get his son into separate counceling immediately.  Staying in a bad marriage complicated by SZ is not best nor healthy for their son.  Your friend needs to seek help for his spouse whom has threatened suicide.  This is a buzz word that will wisk you past any mental health laws into admission into the hospital.  This has to be dealt with quickly and thoroughly without accepting anything less than threats will not be tolerated and commitment to the hospital will be the result.  You cannot stop someone from such acts if they are sincere, you can only do everything you can to stop it.  Please show this reply to your friend.  I fear for the emotional stress that their son as well as you friend is going through.
    • Anonymous
      chris
      Apr. 18, 2009

      Hi I am married to a sz. I am so unhappy and confused can anyone help?

      troubled and tired.

    • asurvivor
      Apr. 19, 2009

      One thing that helps me is I frequently, usually when I get up in the morning, I watch the sun come up and I write down 10 things that are blessings in my life.  Write them with numbers and then try to place them in order of importance.  When you are faced with challenges during the day you can refer back to your list.  Every day we wake...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      One thing that helps me is I frequently, usually when I get up in the morning, I watch the sun come up and I write down 10 things that are blessings in my life.  Write them with numbers and then try to place them in order of importance.  When you are faced with challenges during the day you can refer back to your list.  Every day we wake up on the green side of the grass is a very good day.  Have a cup of coffee and celebrate your life.  My wife of thirty years has sz and is actually going through more controlled period right now.  Her doctor has changed her meds from Haldol to Geodon and Invega and it has really helped.  A good doctor is a must for sz.

    • Anonymous
      in deep
      Jan. 03, 2010

      Does anyone think its possible for a 44 year old woman to develop parriniod sz ?

    • Anonymous
      Anonymous
      Feb. 16, 2010

      If you are unhappy and confused, troubled and tired,,, please leave now. The longer you let it go on, the worse it will get. I stayed for eight years...the symptoms though I didn't know exactly what it was at the time showed up in the second year. Regain what you can of your own life....or you will only regret it later. I helped my ex get on his feet financially...

      RHMLucky777

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      If you are unhappy and confused, troubled and tired,,, please leave now. The longer you let it go on, the worse it will get. I stayed for eight years...the symptoms though I didn't know exactly what it was at the time showed up in the second year. Regain what you can of your own life....or you will only regret it later. I helped my ex get on his feet financially and with his family when I left because I had basically been his caregiver all that time so I wouldn't feel like a "bad" person.  I tried to stay for better or for worse...but by the end nothing constituted a marriage anymore. It has been hard.....but so worth leaving. I have been able to find myself again which was important both for me and my son. Please protect yourself...in the eighth year....the verbal abuse turned into physical abuse against me and my toddler...all derived from his delusions and our lives were threatened..I already knew I had to leave this just cemented it for me.

    • Anonymous
      sho
      Jun. 08, 2010

      dear my story is the same i have been married to him for 5 years nearly and he i now only know he has it he refuses to go to a doctor as he is onehimself and says that it is only normal anger strikes that he can control i have 2 kids i cant bear it any more although i love him but my life with him was putting me underpressure of him exploding any minute day...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      dear my story is the same i have been married to him for 5 years nearly and he i now only know he has it he refuses to go to a doctor as he is onehimself and says that it is only normal anger strikes that he can control i have 2 kids i cant bear it any more although i love him but my life with him was putting me underpressure of him exploding any minute day or night as living with a volcano he doesnt know he has the disease and if i tell him he will not accept it i have no relation with his family bcz of him and he has no friends i dont know what to do?leave him under bear life alone with 2 kidz or will he take medication and be norma and how will he be convinced to??????????

       

    • Anonymous
      Morals or Madness?
      Aug. 31, 2010

      When I married my wife almost 5 years ago, she was a very sweet and loving lady. She was the lady of my dreams. When I married her I knew she had Lupus so along with that were limitations as far as what she was able to physically do, including work. However, I still married her because I loved her. She was on some very strong narcotics to help her manage her...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      When I married my wife almost 5 years ago, she was a very sweet and loving lady. She was the lady of my dreams. When I married her I knew she had Lupus so along with that were limitations as far as what she was able to physically do, including work. However, I still married her because I loved her. She was on some very strong narcotics to help her manage her pain associated with the Lupus for many years, however one day in February 2009 she decided to take herself off of these narcotics cold turkey, against her doctor's advice as well as mine. She did make the effort prior to that to have her doctor take her off of them gradually but he refused, so she did it herself. Which I must give her some credit for not wanting to be dependant on narcotics. However, upon doing so she became very paronoid and dellusional and felt that I was going to hurt/kill her, she believed license plates were "hidden" messages meant only for her to understand, that something "evil" was buried in the backyard, people were watching and listening to her through cameras and microphones hidden in the house, she believed that people were following her and when someone looked at her she felt they were part of "it". She also believed that everyone knew this big secret about "it". Although after a week long stay in the hospital, per a court order and many many months of attempting to disprove her dellusions to her I suddenly became the "enemy" and she felt betrayed so she started an affair with our landlord who "played" into her belief's. Of course we all know it was to reach his goal and not for her benefit. Anyway, after almost 9 months of this affair I finally moved out but stayed with my wife. The entire time, she played on both sides of the fence, denying the affair the whole time. Finally after a 6 month "separation" period I moved back home. However, now that I have been at home full time for almost 2 months I have seen her extreme and unhealthy pre-occupation with religion, she still believes there is this secret we all know and aren't sharing with her, she still believes that I am trying to "control" her mind and thoughts through various methods, including placing insignificant items under the bed or peeling a sticker off of a lighter, etc. etc. She belives that I can "hear" her when she talks and she belives that she can really "read" someone or something and that she has some sort of special purpose here on earth and that she isn't like everyone else. She sits for 30 mins to an hour at a time just staring into space without saying a word and then will make a comment that is completely out of context to any recent conversation or event. This makes things very difficult for me and having a conversation with my wife is impossible most times. I have tried to help her by denouncing her statements/beliefs, relating logical matters to them, ignoring them entirely, disproving them though fact and logic, asking for an explanation for her comments/actions but without success, telling her straight up that after doing research on her behavior that I believe she might be paranoid schizoprenic and requested she go to a doctor, but she refuses. I am miserable at home to say the least and this entry doesnt cover nearly all that happens but it is the main topics that I deal with. So, I have read many post by several different people and so far I havent found one that addresses my problem...I do love my wife and I did marry her for sickness and in health but I am now borderline suicidal because of the issues at home. But I also feel like if I leave her, I would be the bad person because I left her over something that isnt really her fault. I am struggling with my sense of good morals and my sense of self-preservation so any help would be greatly appreciated...Thanks.

    • Anonymous
      Spanish woman
      May. 26, 2009

      Hello all,

      I'm a Spanish woman and my husband is also paranoid sqz and he also has depression. I feel very grateful for all your messages because this messages help me to continue my life with my husband. Sometimes I think I should give him up but sometimes I think I must continue with him because he is the person I love and I want to be with. Sorry for my...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      Hello all,

      I'm a Spanish woman and my husband is also paranoid sqz and he also has depression. I feel very grateful for all your messages because this messages help me to continue my life with my husband. Sometimes I think I should give him up but sometimes I think I must continue with him because he is the person I love and I want to be with. Sorry for my English but I have not found a better place in Spanish to share my feelings with you.

      Thank you.

    • donnadorothea
      Aug. 05, 2011

      I have been married for 11 years to my husband who has parniod schizophrenia.  We have two children.  To say I struggle with my marriage is an understatement!  When I first married him I thought as long as he took his meds everything would be fine.  It isn't fine.  He takes his meds and gets lots of sleep and he still is not okay. ...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      I have been married for 11 years to my husband who has parniod schizophrenia.  We have two children.  To say I struggle with my marriage is an understatement!  When I first married him I thought as long as he took his meds everything would be fine.  It isn't fine.  He takes his meds and gets lots of sleep and he still is not okay.  We have love in our marriage but no intimacy.  I struggle with the marriage vows in sickness and in health.  He has moved out a few times into his own apartment.  I try to move on each time but he always wants to come back.  He is a very loving father.  This is always my motavation for trying to keep my family together.  When I went to a divorce lawyer she asked me " who marries a schizophrenic?"  It makes me think that something is wrong with me. I feel like I am not his wife but his caregiver.  My friends and family tell me to move on but I wonder who will take care of him?  I feel I owe it to my children to take care of their father.  I feel so trapped by this illness and their really isn't support for our family.  Can I walk away? Why do I feel so guilty?

    • Anonymous
      Anonymous
      Mar. 24, 2008

      Hi

       

      You gave me hope.  My son was just diagnosed - 25 years old and in such denial.  He is dabbling with meds but does not believe he needs it.  Now he has started to drink again.  If this is a process and one day he will sound as you do, I have hope.  I will keep you in my prayers also

       

      Linda