Dealing With My Father's Schizophrenia (my mother has it too)

I am a father and I have schizoaffective disorder. My children also grew up around my illness. I spent manys days and months in hospitals. I know it affected them. It's hard on them as it is for me. What you do for your folks is inspirational. I know that it's hard on you, but for people with a MI jsut being there and caring for your loved is the greatest gift you can give. I read this today and thought you'd like it as well.


A simple man tells how his booking an air ticket for his father, his First flight, brought emotions and made him realize that how much we all Take for granted when it comes to our parents.


My parents left for our native place on Thursday and we went to the Airport to see them off. In fact, my father had never travelled by air Before, so I just took this opportunity to make him experience the same.

In spite of being asked to book tickets by train, I got them tickets on Lufthansa.


The moment I handed over the tickets to him, he was surprised to see That I had booked them by air. The excitement was very apparent on his Face, waiting for the time of travel. Just like a school boy, he wasPreparing himself on that day and we all went t! o the airport, right from Using the trolley for his luggage, the baggage check-in and asking for Window seat and waiting restlessly for the security check-in to happen.


He was thoroughly enjoying himself and I, too, was overcome with joy Watching him experience all these things.

As they were about to go in for the security check-in, he walked up to Me with tears in his eyes and thanked me. He became very emotional and It was not as if I had done something great but the fact that this meant A great deal to him.


When he said thanks, I told him there was no need to thank me.

But later, thinking about the entire incident, I looked back at my life.


As a child how many dreams our parents have made come true. Without Understanding the financial situation, we ask for football, dresses, Toys, outings, etc. Irrespective of their affordability, they have Satisfied all our needs. Did we ever think about the sacri! fices they had To make to accommodate many of our wishes?

Did we ever say thanks for all that they have done for us?


Same way, today when it comes to our children, we always think that we Should put them in a good school. Regardless of the amount of donation, We will ensure that we will have to give the child the best, theme Parks, toys, etc. But we tend to forget that our parents have sacrificed A lot for our sake to see us happy, so it is our responsibility to Ensure that their dreams are realized and what they failed to see when They were young, it is our responsibility to ensure that they Experience all those and their life is complete.


Many times, when my parents had asked me some questions, I have actually Answered back without patience.. When my daughter asks me something, I Have been very polite in answering. Now I realize how they would have Felt at those moments.


Let us realize that old age is a second childhood and just as we take Care of our! children, the same attention and same care need to be given To our parents and elders.


Rather than my dad saying thank you to me, I would want to say sorry for Making him wait so long for this small dream.. I do realize how much he Has sacrificed for my sake and I will do my best to give the best Possible attention to all their wishes. Just because they are old does Not mean that they will have to give up everything and keep sacrificing For their grandchildren also. They have wishes, too..


Take care of your parents.

Pls pass on this mail to every child who loves parents and want to love Them more......

It's your attitude and not your aptitude that determines your altitude.

Bless you and your family,

David

Hello Daughter,

Welcome!  You are most welcome here.

You are not alone in your feelings and what you go through caring for someone who was diagnosed with schizophrenia, in this case, two parents not just one.

Your smiling picture tells me that you will see it through the hard times and handle it like a champion.  You are going through something that no one here on earth should have to go through.  You didn't ask for it, and you didn't want it.  If things could be different, I'm sure you'd rather schizophrenia didn't exist.

I woiuld suggest looking into a group home or other kind of living facility for your parents, some supported housing options allow a married couple to live together.  Especially if they don't have tons of money and are of modest means, the government may be able to pay for it.

I do suggest such a living arrangement to give you peace of mind.  You could research the livable ones in your area whose staff treat the residents with dignity and attention to their mental health.

Yes, I am going to suggest you take time for yourself and your husband, and time just for you alone, and with your girlfriends.  Hard as it is, I hope you can try.

Also, NAMI has support groups for family members, call their national hot line at (800) 950-NAMI (6264) to get a referral for a meeting in your city or town.

I wish you to find some comfort here at the Connection, so do write a SharePost when you feel the need to.

Chris

My heart aches for you and the pain you carry. I lost the woman of my dreams to scizophrenia. Losing your parents would be much worse to cope with. You are courageous and strong to have been there all those years for your mother...and yet it took a great toll on you...the hope of her recovery was always in view...I've learned (or am learning still) that the sun is always shining behind the clouds precious one. You have a new child and what a blessing ---- now it is time to find parental nurturing and support from others, ok? Try to find some beautiful motherly/grandmotherly people in your orbit of influence...maybe in a church...maybe in a volunteer situation...there's a very special parental figure out there 4 you somewhere...keep hope...I can tell u are beautiful and extraordinary and someone out there will want to love you as a daughter and be a grandparent too...maybe a Godparent?

Peace and much love 2 you precious one.

Marty