Hopeless (my mother's story, chapter Now)

Hello Daughter,

You are going through a lot and I wish it could be better, yet you are going to have a newborn to bring you joy and you will love him or her with all your heart.

What you feel is real, and natural.  I hope by writing SharePosts you find some comfort in a community of people who are traveling this path with you.

Regards,

Chri

wow did your mother have this illness all of her life? i think my mom has had it for a long time but we didnt realize the serious problem she had untill she had a break down  from severe hallucination while at church . she wont take her meds like she is suppose to but what do you do as her daughter i mean do you sit back and pretend nothing is wrong? And watch her lose the little bit of mind she has left?

Excuse me for writing again, i know these are old posts, but i was reading all your posts and feel compeled to comment again. Hopefully you are not offended.

During my teen years and early twenties I also used to hate my mother (she also has paranoid sz and except for the times when she was at hospital refused medications).

But you know, as you get older, into middle-age, you will gain a different perspective regarding your parents and their illness.

It may be hard to believe now, but the pain will soften... It will become less bitter and sharp. Your hate will slowly dissolve. (Unless you want to hold on to it, and then it turns into a cancer..) It has been many years now since i have forgiven my mother.

Mothers and fathers are people too... Try to judge them in a more compassionate light, as fallible human beings,  if you must judge them at all.. You are a mother too now, have pity, my dear... They are helpless, they didn't choose to be ill.

What comes to mind right now is something i read from the Book of Psalms:

"May i fall in the hands of G-d for his mercies are many, and may i not fall in the hands of man..."