why is it that I stress out more about certain people.... for example my boyfriend. I have confronted him before, and he denies it, but his actions say otherwise. I feel like he is using me. I feel like I know its more than just the illness, I can sense things about him. Yet when I break up with him, he just cries and says sorry. Then I change my mind and we are back to square one. This whole situation is irritating me to the extreme, because I am stuck. I would be happy if I wasn't continuously being given the cold shoulder or being used. SICK OF IT. Besides that everything is fine, but it's funny how one thing can ruin everything else in your life. I was perfectly fine taking my meds , sure a few hiccups here and there but nothing as dramatic as this- fully being taken advantage of. I can't get over it. YET, I AM ALSO WORRIED THAT IT IS JUST MY ILLNESS , and so I 'm not doing anything about it! Talk about a rut........ Paranoid I'm Paranoid so to speak.
It is like years ago I used to sit at work with voices going full blast about me, but I was too worried to say anything because I was paranoid I was paranoid they were talking about me, ie, I half believed my doctor to ignore them.
Truth is, I want to be together, but only if the feeling is mutual and there is more communication. Otherwise I might as well go home.
Thanks for reading.
