Looking back over the past year, I have improved a lot, but I have also been realising the extent of my illness and that it is actually an illness. It is a lot of hard work, and I guess the cost of the illness is in the relationships I inadvertently destroy or hurt... so today I read Tinker's sharepost about me. To be honest I had no idea, though I knew because we hadn't spoken for a while. It is easy to say I think I have been where she is and I understand... but in actual fact I don't... we are all only human, and there is no way of being perfect at all times, I don't even expect that from doctors who are trained at dealing with these things. I just wish there was someone in this world who could accept me for who I am without the judgment and backlash. Even when they know I have a medical condition as serious as schizophrenia.. it's not easy to function at a basic normal level with this illness, let alone to be a senstive, insightful and intuitive person at all times. Schizophrenia sufferers are known to be unbeknownst to detecting emotions in other people. This doesn't make us monsters, it is a defect and needs to be fixed. I am trying my hardest to be a compassionate and sympathetic person to others. If that is where I am going wrong, I apologize.... but I'm not taking blame for my illness. If need be Ill move on to a place where I can regain self esteem and confidence without being continually told I have done something wrong. I get it enough from people close to me without having to get it in a place where we should be understood.