It seems like the accepted course of action is to let people learn from their own mistakes in life, let them fall, while others can just watch or walk away from the problem and go on with their own lives. The problem here is, in the long run, both parties lose. I have been in both situations before, ...
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hi
DCROY9633
Wednesday, July 29, 2009 at 08:55 AM
Hi -- it is good to hear from you again. I'm sorry, though, that people have failed you. Unfortunately, I think it is very true that we are our own best friends and our own worst enemies at times. I have sabotaged my treatment plan so many times. Yet I have had the courage and faith in myself to raise my head again and continue on. Eventually I got close to where I wanted to be, where I am now. I learned that I just can't depend on others to understand, to step in and help, to offer a shoulder to lean on. But once in a while, they surprise me and I find a true friend. I have about 3 such friends right now who are there for me, and I make every effort to be there for them. One just moved her family to a bigger house in order to bring the grandparents (who are very ill) to live with them. Another friend has bipolar disorder and is usually in the depths of despair about one thing or another -- she counts on me to lead her away from the edge of the cliff. One has constant debilitating back pain such that she pretty much can only sit and depend on her husband, who has Alzheimer's, to take care of her.
What I am saying, I guess, after giving up on people to understand and help me, I have turned it around and helped them. What goes around comes around. I am involved in volunteer work. I visit nursing homes. I am taking care of an ailing 82 yr old mother. I have enough other people to concentrate that I can thankfully take my eyes off my own problems for a while.
That said, I am still very aware that it hurts when family and others fail and fall. And althought it may be the "accepted course of action ... [to] let them fall" maybe it shouldn't be the accepted course of action. Perhaps with your unique perspective and knowledge of pain and life's disappointments you might be able to keep others from falling. Or at the least, be there to help them get back up. That is where I get my joy and reward.
Carolyn
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It is unfair
MichelleP
Wednesday, July 29, 2009 at 02:53 PM
My family is supportive, my dad does mostly everything for me and my brother Matt, without them I don't know where I would be. I think it is unfair to judge a person by a mental illnesss too, but I have been handicapped most of my life so I know what it is like to be judged as does everyone else, but if your friends won't talk to you because your mentally ill then that is just wrong.
Hi -- it is good to hear from you again. I'm sorry, though, that people have failed you. Unfortunately, I think it is very true that we are our own best friends and our own worst enemies at times. I have sabotaged my treatment plan so many times. Yet I have had the courage and faith in myself to raise my head again and continue on. Eventually I got close to where I wanted to be, where I am now. I learned that I just can't depend on others to understand, to step in and help, to offer a shoulder to lean on. But once in a while, they surprise me and I find a true friend. I have about 3 such friends right now who are there for me, and I make every effort to be there for them. One just moved her family to a bigger house in order to bring the grandparents (who are very ill) to live with them. Another friend has bipolar disorder and is usually in the depths of despair about one thing or another -- she counts on me to lead her away from the edge of the cliff. One has constant debilitating back pain such that she pretty much can only sit and depend on her husband, who has Alzheimer's, to take care of her.
What I am saying, I guess, after giving up on people to understand and help me, I have turned it around and helped them. What goes around comes around. I am involved in volunteer work. I visit nursing homes. I am taking care of an ailing 82 yr old mother. I have enough other people to concentrate that I can thankfully take my eyes off my own problems for a while.
That said, I am still very aware that it hurts when family and others fail and fall. And althought it may be the "accepted course of action ... [to] let them fall" maybe it shouldn't be the accepted course of action. Perhaps with your unique perspective and knowledge of pain and life's disappointments you might be able to keep others from falling. Or at the least, be there to help them get back up. That is where I get my joy and reward.
Carolyn