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Life has turned in a complete chaos ever since prodrome stormed into my life. Profrome refers to a period of decreased functioning prior to the first psychosis or the onset of schizophrenia. I wish I only knew it before its rude awakening to my life of insanity.
About six months ago, I studied my final exam like a zombie with the assistance of prescription drug dexamphetamine( Psycho-stimulant for Attention Deficit Disorder). I became withdrawn from friends and family which I thought to be the outcome of stress and depression. Over many restless days and nights, I buried my head in the textbooks and thanks to my supercharged brain power. All of those hard work compensated for the fact that I did not attend most of the classes. But I have now realized, It was nothing but a dysfunction robot struggled to deliver ever decaying performance.
I shed 10kgs since that I was not able to eat but live on the nutrient of cups and cups of full cream coffee with one sugar. Prior to the start of the exam, I was vomiting bile outside of the building; during the exam, I was not only struggled with stomach ache( was in fact chest pain), I also started hearing mp3 music on my phone, I was thinking:
" I must have accidently left the music on. Should I bend down to switch it off? What if people caught me on cheating, as we are not supposed to have our phone switched on?"
The music only gets louder and so as people started making a lot of noises walking out of the exam hall. I was vaguely aware of the mere hallucination,
" STOP IT!!!!!!" I shook my head hard and I'm not sure if I had screamed out aloud.
Overall, I was convinced that "severe anxiety disorder" was the real offender of my mental disturbance and declining academic performance. Therefore, I decided to take the semester off to recover from distress, but I had only became less motivated and certainly did not feel easier with a new chapter of ambivalence. I had never thought that it was the "Prodrome Phase" which is the onset of a path of esoteric, a path towards insanity.
Please visit my blog, I tracked down all my thought throughout the process of becoming schizophreniac. http://lesstraveledby.wordpress.com/
There exists quite a disconnect in the overall picture of schizophrenia. I don't believe in it. I was diagnosed in 1970 and unable to gain the controlling position. I was outnumbered. It was a physical attack. You can follow it in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Now I am a lot stronger and it would be difficult to capture me. I am free. Compare that with the assertion that a schizophrenic deteriorates continuously. This is 40 years of "deterioration".
I am sensitive to spiritual things. I am psychic. I can make something out of anything. I improvise. I do not let things just sit there being there own. Did he influence me, or did I influence him? I did. Did he say he was psychic? Then he cannot claim to know that kind of information. He has to rely on information he memorized and regurgitated.
I know chemistry. Combined with being psychic means I can tell what gets you high by looking at the molecular structure.
You describe becoming prodromal behind dexie, so the onset of the schizophrenia is not without conditions which are ambiguous as to the cause. What's the worst that could happen if you delay seeing a professional immediately? That you will delay the administration of a debilitating course of treatment, like electroshock? Nothing is the same in my like since ECT, not since "schizophrenia". That's my opinion. "How long have you been a schizophrenic, doctor?" "Have you ever been to prison, judge?" It's all your point of view, like in a war, are you taking fire or shooting?
I just had a very moving conversation with my son, twenty-nine years old and diagnosed with schizophrenia 10 years ago. He said that he can look back at the beginning of symptoms at age 12, even though he continued to function as he always had to us, he said that he starting feeling different in the fifth grade. His first symptom was that he felt a social withdrawal from what was otherwise an extrodinary social live, popularity, sports, and lots of friends. He said he no longer felt like the shining star in school, interested in everything, and always conversational. He continued his same activities until he had his first break, but obviously he knew something was wrong that he could not articulate. Maybe we need to start looking much sooner than we thought. Don't have a clue how that could be done, but the enumeration of his feelings from so long ago and his insight into his own illness were so poignant.
Do you have any information about a condition called Kaufman's Autism that mimics some sz symptoms (in a 13 year old girl) This girl has been evaluated between 15 to 20 times in the last several years by some top professionals in their lines (including a pediatric psyciatrist who specalizes in Autistic Spectrum Disorders, pediatric neurologist, 2 neuro-developmental psycologists, speech pathologist and quite a few others) with no definite conclusion of what is wrong with her.
She has a maternal grandmother with paranoid sz, and a cousin with sza.
Do you have any suggestions or insight?
Im laying down at night and my day is over,,,sometimes i have a real bad day at my job ,,,here at home or im argueing with friends or family,i get real stressed out and after a day or even the same night i lay down and hear either heavy metal or a symphony,,,i check too see if the radio was left on or the television is on from my sons room and none of it is on.I run around and see if there is a car out side with someone sitting in it and there is no one,,,but i do regognise that it only happens when there is a large amount of stress,I try too drink alchole to make it stop and it does,thats becouse it numbs my system,my brother was diagnosed with schizophrenia.
Hello Dila,
Get help!
You could be self-medicating the symptoms of schizophrenia. See a qualified professional who is the only person who can make this kind of diagnosis or rule it out.
Dave Robbins, a community member here, hallucinates in the form of hearing classic rock music. He is on medication which helps alleviate this noise.
Regards,
Christina
I start hearing music when I am not taking enough Zyprexa. Soon, I am hearing one short passage played over and over 24 hrs a day and I find myself jiggling my feet and tapping my fingers to it. Finally it overwhelms conversations I am having with others and whatever is on TV and I end up asking my psychiatrist if I can take a larger dose for a while. That always takes care of it, but not immediately. It may take 2-3 weeks.
Carolyn
I was really surprised to read these comments from people who "hear music when they lay down at night." Oh my gosh... I used to have the same experiences! But schitzophrenia?! the Mere suggestion of a correlation between the two got my heart to racing! That is, until I remembered that it has been several years since that brief occurence... Surely schitzophrenia doesn't begin to manifest and then suddenly go away altogether...
At the risk of sounding like someone who, while maybe not schitzophrenia, is certainly suffering from 'some' sort of mental disorder... I'm going to tell you what I related it to. Here's to not beating around the bush: a 'spirit'. Yep, a haunting- so to speak. If it helps my case at all, I didn't actually discover this on my own. It was while reading an article, whereas the author was describing the many different ways in which 'spirits' commonly interact with us. And he clearly stated that the "hearing of music when you lay down at night" is a common occurrence.
It made perfect sense to me... considering the other experiences that my family and I have also had in this house (that's right, it's not just me). Combine that with the fact he also pointed out that it is also not uncommon for people to question what might actually be going on inside their own heads- when in fact, that's not it at all! Furthermore, after a couple of weeks or so of this... whereas I too would be running around the house trying to figure out where it was coming from... peeping out windows to see if someone was parked near by... it suddenly just stopped. It has been several years now since that time.
Yes, I have it sometimes when i am falling asleep, and for me thats an indicator my body is super tired and is starting to shut down.... i hear music, and thats the time i know i gotta get to bed or i'll just collapse soon. (and yes, it also dissapears when i shake myself awake - highly doubt its sz)
Ive was thinking about this a long time ago about what was wrong with me and back when I thought about Schizophrenia and looked it up I hardly had any symptoms and was fine. Well now when I looked it up and did some online tests It seems I have all the early sighns of it. But there is no way of help for me. I have no incurance. Mom dosnt care at all and would say im just being a hypocondriact like I was when I found out I may be dyslexic. Counclers at school never help me at all. What do you do when there is no help for something that can affect you your whole life?
when i'm by myself and with other people i feel the walls watching me, and they sing. i always hear music, and it's always worse in silence so i always have something playing or going on in the background to keep me from thinking about it. and my thoughts run in circles, i can't stop thinking about things that happened years ago, even though i hardly remember the situations, i argue with myself on how i could have changed something. i don't know how to talk to people, when i open my mouth, i seriously struggle to get my point across which is why i hate getting in front of people and talking or meeting new people because i don't even know what to talk about. i'm almost 21 and over the last 5 years i feel like i've lost whatever person i used to be, and i feel like i'm never going to see her again, but i don't feel like the new "me" is who i'm supposed to be. i've lost a lot of friends because they all look at me like they know i'm a messed up person. i don't know how to handle myself and my thoughts much anymore.
Hi Whitney,
My daughter is 15, soon to be 16, and she displays many of the things you mention. She was diagnosed with ADHD in early grade school and has been receiving meds for some time now. Dosages are changed periodically and some new ones have been introduced for depression and anxiety. She has seen and sees a psychologist and a psyhchiatrist in addition to a pedatrician. There are other professionals added to the mix from time to time.
You don't mention meds or doctors so I'm curious if you do or if you struggle on your own.
She was always a cheerful girl but never really clicked with her peers. Doesn't have any close friends and can't seem to maintain friendships for very long. Gets along with adults much better but they tire of her too often as well.
High School has really been a struggle. She attended four high schools as a freshman and sophmore, the first one a private, religious shool for girls (where she failed all subjects), with the following three public schools. She's in a special ed program at the moment and we'll see how that works. Not the best but better than the first three.
Her outlook, physical and emotional states have noticably deteriorated over the last two to three years: rarely happy; more negative than positive; argues constantly; doesn't take care of anything; eats poorly; has gained about 40 or more lbs (was somewhat thin, a dancer, at about 120 lbs); would rather watch TV than do much else; has poor grooming habits; can't seem to clean up after herself very well or at all; lies but not as often as last year; breaks house rules often; has been caught stealing some electronic items; says odd/random things to people that are off topic; was asked to stop attending a weekly youth activity because of odd stories or behavior.
She knows a number of people that we know like her but all these actions are driving people away. She is also taking most of her negativity out on my wife. Home life is unpleasant for us all. Do these sound like issues you have experienced?
I see your post was 6/7/10 and I'm wondering how you are doing? And if your situation is/was similar to my daughter's description. If so, have you been able to tackle some of the issues? We're looking for ways to understand what's going on and to help her succeed.
The road to correct diagnosis and treatment can be long and treacherous, unfortunately. But keep after it. The correct diagnosis should come into focus fairly soon, it seems, since you are seeing all the right professionals. Has she ever been hospitalized? Because of a combination of depression and schizophrenia, I was hospitalized several times, but only after I became an adult. It was hard to zero in on the correct medications and dosages. I'm 53 now and still looking for the magic potion, but I have recovered significantly from where I was in my teens through my mid 40's. My schizophrenia symptoms were not severe as a teen, but troubling. I never told anyone about them until I was 37 and finally sought treatment when it began to tear my life apart. How much better that you are seeking treatment now while she is still young.
Keep in mind that people with schizophrenia can go on to live normal lives. And the teenage years are often fraught with angst and anger as it is. Which is only compounded by feeling "different" or "weird" or unaccepted by your peers. Try to find out what her personal goals are, things she would really like to do. And help her see that getting the right diagnosis and treatment (medication) are necessary if she is to reach those goals. Reassure her that you want to help her reach her goals and are always there to listen if she wants to talk.
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Hello Paul Ballas,
Your article was very helpful in understanding the prodromal signs of schizophrenia. I found your article in a google search.
Ashley