The Ride That Turned My Life Upside Down

Hi Valash,

Welcome.

Sure, I have a friend who spent six years in and out of jails because he committed a crime while psychotic.  This happens to people.

You can recover.  You can put the past behind you.

If you would like, e-mail me privately for info on what you can say if you're looking for work and have a criminal conviction.  I've been trained at my job to provide employment services for patrons.  Even with a crime, you can find work.  Legally, an employer can only ask if you've been convicted, not if you've been arrested.  And of course, you would not voluntarily provide information about a crime committed, but if the subject did come up, there is a certain response you're supposed to give.  I can suggest this response to you in a private e-mail.

A lot of people diagnosed with schizophrenia have done things during an episode that they later regret.  You may be feeling guilty and ashamed.   That is OK.  You are also dealing with the shock of having a diagnosis, and along the stages of emotional response to trauma, whatever your feeling is natural.

You may want to go to the search bar on the upper right of this web site, and type in "stage emotional response trauma" and it should bring up a blog entry I wrote on the topic.

I wish you all the best in life.

Regards,

cb

Thank you for the comment on my sharepost.

I read yours too.  I have had some pretty wild delusions too.

When  I was only 14 years old I believed that my math teacher was God, and I built an altar to her and burned candles in my attic.

When I was 20, I went off all of my medicaitons and though that God had called upon me to save the souls of the desperate.  I wore a chain around my neck all the time with 12 holy medals hanging off of it and believed I would die in six months and be canonized the patron saint for the salvation of the desperate. I tried to enter a convent and the mother supserior wouldn't take me because she could tell I was crazy and delusional.

Recently I thought that a certain website was changing my password as a plot against me and I reported them to the FBI. Of course I never heard from the FBI- they probably thought I was a nut case.

I have auditory hallucinations also- thank God these voices aren'tloud- they are  non gender and for awhile they would say mean things like they wanted me to die.  When Prolixin Decanoate was added to my other medications (oral Prolixin and Abilify) the voices aren't mean anymore. Just chattering, or name calling- not as scary but still annoying.

Paranoid schizophrenia is my diagnosis- I am very much fearful of other people. They want to get inside my head and screw around with what I am thinking.  My therapist tells me to wear dark glasses on the bus because I have complained that other passengers look into my eyes and can tell what I am thinking about.

I have tried ECT (electro convulsive therapy)and usually it clears my thinking pretty well. I may start again as my symptoms have been acting up again.

I live in Maryland and live alone. I enjoy long walks and write poetry and do different kinds of artwork to help cope with the illness. I am a 52 year old woman

I notice that you also take Abilify. It is a good one for me- hope it works for you too.

Feel free to write to me any time. I don't feel threatened online as bad as I do in person.

Claudia Krizay

PsS You may wan tot read some of the poetry I entered on my different shareposts.

 My name is Ray and I post as ysraal  and i spent time in a jail and hospital dealing with my illness, then paranoid schizophrenic reaction, now schizoaffective disorder. I also am recovering from and with a chronic mental illness, drugs and alcohol and just trying to learn to live with this illness to the best of my ability. Have faith and may god bless you. Also were you in the military ? I am a US Marine and I had a very bad episode in the Marine Corps that still lasts to this day.