Closer to Recovery Part II

Thank you for understaning, I only wish that my parents had felt the same way.

my books are:

Take Five Seroquel and Call Me in the Morning

Far Out!

Time Lapse

They are sold on xlibris.com.

You can enter the book titles in search or my name- Claudia A. Krizay

And the best of luck to you in returning to school!

I am sure youwill do great-

Claudia

Claudia, I don't need to be around other people to be happy, either.  In fact, I would be perfectly happy to be the only person in the world...most of the time.  I often fantasize about such a life -- living off the land, learning to cook outside, blazing a trail towards a more temperate climate, learning how to trap and shoot for food, etc.  Sometimes I put myself to sleep planning for it, in case everyone else dies at some point!

I, too, was happy when my dad died.  My mom is still alive and we get along great.  But when my dad died, that meant I didn't have to perform to get his approval anymore.  I didn't have to listen to his negative attitude.  He was no longer there to make family meals hell on earth.  I did pity him at the end because he had Alzheimer's, but I asked God for years to take him away because I couldn't stand to be around him.  I hope I am not negative like he is, even though I don't particularly like being around people.

Carolyn

Funny- I h ave the same fantasy sort of, everyday I talke a long walk inthe woods near my home. THere is this one spot I call my safe space.  Usually I am the only one around and I think how great it would be to build a cabin there and live alone and never see another human being.  just to live off the land and see deer and the trees change with the season... It is my fondest reverie- I have written poems about it and taken a lot of nature pictures whichI download on my computer, edit, print out and put into scrapbooks with my poetry which has allusions to nature. I look at them to calm me when I am feeling paranoid or anxious and it cheers me and chases away the unpleasant feelings. I have self-published three books and the latest two  have a lot of my nature poems and some of my photographs in them.  May I ask are you living with schizophrenia?

I t ssems like on this site everybody understands me and the way I think, and live and do not get angry at me.  I have been banned from many websites basically because people think I am crazy. On this site, however, that has not happened.

Here people don't find my poetry all that strange and some of my behavior-I feel accepted here.

Writing is my favorite way of communicating.  I never know what to say, in most cases to people on the phone and when I am walking and I see somebody approaching, I cross over to theother side of the street. Many people are scary to me and I find them a threat to me. Sometimes it all makes me so very angry and I turn everything into myself and hurt myself because I cannot handle the rage,pain and frustration.

Thank goodness that those days are fewer and far between and instead Iget my feelings outon paper instead of hacking away at my arm with a butcher knife.

I am going ot keep posting on this site where people appreciate and understand me.

Thanks again for your kind and understanding words.

Fondly, Claudia