What should I do?

Hi. I would like to say that your brother's case isn't very different than mine. My sz was brought out by street drugs. I hear voices to this day..it's been 28 years. I was never violent. But I have been med non-compliant before. Your brother has to accept his illness and receive the help. If your brother is violent and untreated the best place for him right now is the hospital. You cannot run the risk that he may hurt someone or himself. Too often people with a mental illness don't take care of their illness. Some when they start to feel better don't attribute that to meds and therefore stop them. Some stop their meds because of side effects. And lastly there are those who take their meds, work with the pdoc, work in therapy, and take care physically. You can also contact www.nami.org . They have family programs and support groups. nami stands for the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. I wish you and your brother and your family the best. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

God bless,

Dave

Hello Worriedinala,

I feel for what you and your family are going through.

A lack of awareness that one has an illness is actually a symptom called aosognosia.  It affects up to 50 percent of people with schizophrenia.  I routinely suggest the family members of a loved one who refuses to take meds, read the Xavier Amador book, I Am Not Sick, I Don't Need Help.

In your case, your brother needs immediate hospitalization.  Your parents should refuse to take him in if he's released again.  As an adult, he's going to learn the hard way that refusing treatment is a dead-end situation, if he does learn this at all.

Homelessness often happens when such a person goes without treatment.  Things tend to get worse when someone refuses his meds.  Your brother has assaulted your parents, so they're in no position to care for him.  If they allow this to continue, not only will their lives be in danger, your brother will never learn to take responsibility for his actions and do the right thing.  He simply can't live at home.

The alternative is not an appealing option [the streets] so I urge you to stay strong because in his condition it's likely no group home or residence would take him in.  Your story reminds me of a message board query I answered here on the Connection about a year ago.  If your brother is smart and he knows he's playing your parents, he will wise up if the only option is a cardboard shack above a subway grate.  That would be the ideal outcome, that he would change his ways.

I recommend the Amador book as a good start, yet I know that in your situation immediate action is needed.  I hope in being blunt about this I haven't scared you off.  I want you to be prepared for the possibilities.  Indeed, people have turned their lives around after repeated failed drug holidays, so be optimistic that if not now, your brother could possibly come around some time in the future.

As for today, he needs to be in the hospital and not living with your parents.  To get an idea of how one woman fared who had a similar experience, scroll through the message board section of this web site.  She had a son who was violent towards her and she took out a restraining order against him.

I wish you all the best and feel free to write in again if you feel the need.

Respectfully,

cb