How to Help?

By C Madden Friday, February 27, 2009

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Hello out there! I have been reading many things on this site and am very grateful to all of you who write here. I have a 50 year old sister who has been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. Unfortunately, after the Dx she decided the Dr. was a quack. There is nothing wrong with her. Our problem now becomes how do we convince her otherwise. I saw the reccomendation in some of christna's blogs for a book which I think might help. Can anyone offer any off the cuff suggestions.

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Christina Bruni, Health Guide

2/27/09 4:39pm

Hello C Madden,

I believe the book you're referring to is I Am Not Sick, I Don't Need Help.

As you know, this is hard when someone is unable to separate fact from fiction.

I wish you the best with this.

Regards,

Christina

SpandaDevi

2/27/09 4:55pm

Hello!

You’ll get through to your sister! All you have to do is to give her the proof she needs to recognize her illness. Then she will be open to help. Here’s what worked for me when I was in denial:

1. Constantly point out her behavior as it comes up. Take care not to use accuse her or be confrontational; remain factual. This will make her aware that she has symptoms and the frequency of them. (You can even keep a log of her behavior and then find the right moment to share the log with her.)

2. Hold her accountable for her behavior. This will make her take responsibility for her actions and therefore recognize that she express actions/behaviors that are unacceptable to others.

3. Hold her to the same standard of conduct as everyone else. This will allow her to learn that she is not meeting a minimum level of behavior that is met by others.

4. Keep directing her attention to choose between these two: “I do not have a problem. I am in control of my behavior. The proof is in my actions.” OR, “I have a problem. I am not in control of my behavior. I need help.”

As soon as she admits to needing help, take her right away or make an appointment in that moment.

When I was in denial, I was aware of my illnesses on some level. I was just not admitting it to myself because I felt afraid and ill equipped to face it. So, you can also offer your love by reassuring her that you will be there for her and will support her.

Hope you found this useful. Best of luck!

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