I am a fifty three year old woman living with paranoia and schizophrenia. I took some tests about 20 years ago and the Psychiatrist didn't tell me the results until I was communicating with him in an effort to qualify for Disability SS and SSI..he told me then. All the years I was ill, and I never really understood. I thought I was normal?! Now I've been on disability for about 8 years. At first I thought I was getting better without the stress of work, but in the past few years I've become isolated and more paranoid. A lot of circumstancial disappointments occured in one fell swoop and I can't get past them. I see no reason to go to a psyciatrist any more because I was in therapy for about five years and it was agreed everything had been said. My father died of this disease in 1977. He committed suicide. I watched him swing from high to low all my life. He was manic depressive with paranoid and schitzophrenia tendancies. Medications never helped him and he had many electric shock therapies. I will never allow anyone to apply such therapies to me.
This is just a beginning. More of a journal than anything...share my experience and grow, I hope. Thanks for reading.
Tinker
