My room mate has had pneumonia for a few weeks. A young man who is a friend of hers has been helping her with her early morning paper route. Yes, he is immature for a man of almost fourty, but her cruel anger for his defects of character are petty and mean.
The first moment she became well she started dissing him to me with irritated anger. I wanted to say something...the first time I lacked the courage. Since I pay for everything and she has treated me with cruel and ingracious contempt many times I know that she speaks of me to other people in the same manner.
Last nite I got the courage to speak up. I asked her not to be angry BUT hasn't he been so very helpful to her? She got very irritated and defensive, telling me that she was always on the route with him, they used her car and she was giving him half of her paycheck.
I am learning something from her. Not that I know I have ever been like this, but sometimes patience is NOT a virtue. By age and experience sometimes as a friend we can be a helpful teacher to others. I don't think it's always right to "put up and shut up". I am proud of asking her about this. I am also learning that when a person is a real FRIEND it is not right to just dump them because they act ignorant. I think I would try to "teach" him with kindness and honesty, and then if that didn't work over a period of time I would tell him flat out...You are being very cruel to others. I have been trying to show you a different more gracious way of being, but you don't and won't see it. I can't be around you any more.
Last nite was another boundry upheld. I am really working on this. Life is very quiet right now, so I have the time to focus on this goal. I hope that I can learn a new way.
With love
Dellea
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