Hi Im new to this my name is Candace,Im 23 and so is my ex-fiance.I broke off our engagement ,He's a paranoid schizophrantic person. I though at first this would all come to pass,because he stopped taking his medicine and the doctor agreed with him. I think he should be taking it though.He at times makes me feel paranoid.He is very controlling and jealous.I was at a family function and he accused me of trying to flirt with the neighbor who is a family friend, my bestfriends boyfriend,and my sisters boyfriend.HE checks my cellphone,if he sees a number he doesnt know he writes it down and looks it up in the yellow pages online.I wanted to lay on the couch and he ssaid that he doesnt so I shouldnt and lifted the couch in the air whioch caused me to hurt my neck.he makes me have sex with him if I dont want to so know I just do it to keep peace. He says he trying then thnext week everything is the same. I feel like he is not him self when this happens I call it his episodes.I want to try and make it work.But I know I cant do it just for him and if it works that would be the only reason I stay with him.He at times hides in the next room to hear the phone conversations that I am haviong.He will watch in front of the apartment building to see which way I came home from work.There is just a whole list of thing that he does that I just dont understand. If anybody could please help me with advice or suggestions .
Thanks inadvance Candace023
Thank you for writing to this site. I met my ex-husband in 1983 and married him a few months later without knowing him very well. As it turns out, I am the one who has sz and not him. But 13 yrs of marriage to him was a nightmare. He was sexually abusive (wanting me to do bizarre things) and totally controlling. He didn't want me to do anything better than he could, like there was some kind of competition between the two of us. I always gave in and did exactly what he wanted because I was kind of afraid of his temper. He never hit me or hurt me physically, but he totally destroyed me psychologically. And then when my sz symptoms came to the forefront, he said he didn't want to be married to a "mental case." I gladly filed for a divorce and started on a long journey filled with hospitalizations, suicide attempts, depression, ECT, and many medications. Now I am on the right track, thank God.
But I think your ex-fiance really needs to be on medication. Rarely does sz just "go away." Rather, it is brought under control (at least to a great extent) by the right medications. I know from having talked to many online who have sz or have family members or friends with it. And I know because I went off my meds many times and almost always ended up in the hospital or at least half-crazy, spiraling in and out of chaos and psychosis.
Be extremely cautious and take heed of your instincts and his controlling ways. I think you were very wise to break off the engagement and I don't think you will live to regret it. Once you get into marriage with a controlling person, life is miserable and the marriage becomes very hard to dissolve.
Carolyn