I went to Weight Watchers this morning but elected not to be weighed. I had spent 3 days this week on a food binge and knew I would have gained. I just couldn't live with that today. I was meeting some friends there for a while, but most of them dropped out of the program "till after the new year." They must have meant 2009, not 2008 because they have not yet come back.
My brother came over at 7am for breakfast. Mom made fried chicken and hash browns, not our usual fare. But it was good despite the chicken being over-cooked. My brother cannot eat flour, so the chicken was dredged in cornmeal. For a while after my dad died (May/2005) my brother just kind of disappeared. Did not come over, did not call. I guess he was dealing with his grief and disappointed at the decision my mom had made to put him in a nursing home and let him die there. But now he is coming back around and is sweeter/kinder than ever. He even gave me $300 at Christmas because I live with mom and he appreciated my helping her. I need a new watch once the stores restock after Christmas.
I have not taken any Zyprexa the last 3 nights. And I am still feeling okay. The first of the year I cut back to about a 10th of what was prescribed and I felt a whole lot better...for a while. It took 2 months before the symptoms started again. Then I told my pdoc what I had been doing and asked him what he thought the minimum was I should take. He said I needed to take at least 10mg instead of 2. So I tried 10 then 15 and finally had to go up to 20mg to start feeling "right" again. I see him again the 22nd of this month.
I am lowering the dose to try to get some of this weight off and to have more energy. I know the risk/danger of doing so. But I am also afraid of getting diabetes.
Carolyn
