I think that "a few thoughts" is accurate. I can't seem to think. I have no motivation. There are so many things I would love to do -- create art and music, read, hang out with friends, travel, take some community classes, etc. But right now I can't pull myself out of bed to do anything, so I lie there and watch TV much of the day. I feel irritable. I feel somewhat depressed. I am in the process of getting back on Zyprexa and adjusting the dose upwards...since Geodon stopped working. I hope I feel better soon. I am afraid the rest of my life will be like this. Or at least on a cycle of returning to this same place. It is far from the first time, and far from the last.
What can I do to feel useful? Nothing I do is satisfying. Are these feelings/problems common to most schizophrenics most of the time? I keep waiting for it to get better. And it does for a few days/weeks/months then all this mental and physical sluggishness comes back to torment me. Sometimes I think I should just do the best I can today and blow off the rest. But when day after day is disheartening...
I guess I feel like there is no one to confide in. I can't afford my favorite therapist anymore and my psychiatrist is in the game for med management only.
Does anyone here know what I am talking about? Any suggestions?
Carolyn
