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Thursday, December, 04, 2008

Down to the Nitty Gritty

by  DCROY9633
Sunday, July 13, 2008
DCROY9633
DCROY9633
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Age 50.  Diagnosed at age 37, after many years of...

DCROY9633

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What is the area of most concern to me right now? Socialization. (Or lack thereof.) I even have a female friend or two, but I have no male friends. I feel I am frozen physically and mentally when it comes to talking to men. Of course, this doesn't just happen to people with schizophrenia. The...
  1. Relationships
    Christina Bruni
    Sunday, July 13, 2008 at 08:24 PM

    Hi Carolyn,

     

    You deserve to try again, if that's something you want to do.

     

    I understand what you went through because although I wasn't in an abusieve relationship, the one long-term boyfriend I had, I realized in retrospect, "negged" on me repeatedly.  He was otherwise respectful, yet he was critical of me at every opportunity.  After we broke up, he wanted to remain friends, something I didn't want to do, and I gave in and went along with him.  Until one night we were talking on the phone, and I had to tell him I didn't want him to call me anymore.  Nothing I ever did was ever right.  I tried hard to make it work.  I couldn't live up to his demands, because he expected me to be someone I wasn't.

     

    Five years ago I signed up on NoLOngerLonely, the online dating service whose founder and webmaster I profiled here because the site is specifically for people with mental illnessses.  I had no luck.  A new social networking site for us folk is,  www.trueacceptance.com, and I'm going to try that in the new year.

     

    I find I need to feel a connection to someone before I'll commit.  I was so afraid to meet men again because I felt they would all be like the ex-boyfriend.  Just this week I realized that isn't fair, I can't judge other people based on how he treated me.  I would consider it verbal abuse.  Funny, today I don't even remember his veiled criticisms, but trust me, he negged on me at every opportunity.

     

    In the new year, I will be writing blog entries about relationships, as I begin to reach out on trueacceptance and hopefully find someone who understands.  Though I wonder if I'd be setting myself up for failure.

     

    So, I understand how you feel.

     

    Regards,

    Chri

     


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