Hi Carolyn,
You deserve to try again, if that's something you want to do.
I understand what you went through because although I wasn't in an abusieve relationship, the one long-term boyfriend I had, I realized in retrospect, "negged" on me repeatedly. He was otherwise respectful, yet he was critical of me at every opportunity. After we broke up, he wanted to remain friends, something I didn't want to do, and I gave in and went along with him. Until one night we were talking on the phone, and I had to tell him I didn't want him to call me anymore. Nothing I ever did was ever right. I tried hard to make it work. I couldn't live up to his demands, because he expected me to be someone I wasn't.
Five years ago I signed up on NoLOngerLonely, the online dating service whose founder and webmaster I profiled here because the site is specifically for people with mental illnessses. I had no luck. A new social networking site for us folk is, www.trueacceptance.com, and I'm going to try that in the new year.
I find I need to feel a connection to someone before I'll commit. I was so afraid to meet men again because I felt they would all be like the ex-boyfriend. Just this week I realized that isn't fair, I can't judge other people based on how he treated me. I would consider it verbal abuse. Funny, today I don't even remember his veiled criticisms, but trust me, he negged on me at every opportunity.
In the new year, I will be writing blog entries about relationships, as I begin to reach out on trueacceptance and hopefully find someone who understands. Though I wonder if I'd be setting myself up for failure.
So, I understand how you feel.
Regards,
Chri
reply
Hi Carolyn,
You deserve to try again, if that's something you want to do.
I understand what you went through because although I wasn't in an abusieve relationship, the one long-term boyfriend I had, I realized in retrospect, "negged" on me repeatedly. He was otherwise respectful, yet he was critical of me at every opportunity. After we broke up, he wanted to remain friends, something I didn't want to do, and I gave in and went along with him. Until one night we were talking on the phone, and I had to tell him I didn't want him to call me anymore. Nothing I ever did was ever right. I tried hard to make it work. I couldn't live up to his demands, because he expected me to be someone I wasn't.
Five years ago I signed up on NoLOngerLonely, the online dating service whose founder and webmaster I profiled here because the site is specifically for people with mental illnessses. I had no luck. A new social networking site for us folk is, www.trueacceptance.com, and I'm going to try that in the new year.
I find I need to feel a connection to someone before I'll commit. I was so afraid to meet men again because I felt they would all be like the ex-boyfriend. Just this week I realized that isn't fair, I can't judge other people based on how he treated me. I would consider it verbal abuse. Funny, today I don't even remember his veiled criticisms, but trust me, he negged on me at every opportunity.
In the new year, I will be writing blog entries about relationships, as I begin to reach out on trueacceptance and hopefully find someone who understands. Though I wonder if I'd be setting myself up for failure.
So, I understand how you feel.
Regards,
Chri
reply