I am listening to Tom Petty sing "American Girl" and it cheers me up a little. Even when his lyrics are downbeat, his music is so upbeat I love to sing along. So what bums me out? Perhaps this is not the right venue, but I am feeling lonely tonight and just want to blog about it....
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feeling put upon
Chris
Wednesday, September 24, 2008 at 04:05 AMre: feeling put upon
DCROY9633
Wednesday, September 24, 2008 at 06:22 AMThank you, Chris. I have always been one to seek approval, and I tend to abandon goals I set for myself when someone else disapproves. I am 50 yrs old and it is time I do what I need to do to ensure peace of mind. Of course, I have told myself this before. It is hard to break old habits, hence the statement that you can't teach old dogs new tricks. Maybe I am not too old to learn a new way to deal with disapproval and give myself credit for the good that I do in this world.
Carolyn
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Hi There
Christina Bruni
Wednesday, September 24, 2008 at 11:47 AMHi Carolyn,
Sounds like your mother passed down to your sister an "agreement," that is, the tendency to be critical and feel she's always right.
I'm sorry you go through this. I hope it doesn't continue.
Best regards,
cb
replyre: Hi There
DCROY9633
Wednesday, September 24, 2008 at 01:43 PMPerhaps all's well that ends well. My mother asked my sister's forgiveness for butting in to her business and my sister said okay. She is still not going to take us to my aunt's birthday party, but Mom found us a ride with one of her cousins. So at least I don't have to worry about that part of it. I do take some pride in the fact that I don't have the social anxiety I used to. It is such a blessing to be in a room full of people and not assume I am the one they are talking about!
Carolyn
replyparty for your aunt...her day
Chris
Wednesday, September 24, 2008 at 02:45 PMThat is good news, Carolyn.
Glad the transport is fixed too and you don't need to worry about that.
Was so pleased to share in your realisation of significantly less anxiety at social functions over time which I guess some meds, insight, have helped turn aound?
I can relate strongly here as although I have never experienced such cripplingly painful and overwhelming ideas of self reference, I have never been a 'party animal' and have felt acutely uncomfortable and at loss for words in such settings and lacking in confidence. I guess I'm getting a little better with age
.Best wishes
Chris
UK
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Hello Carolyn,
Hope your post unburdened some of the 'stuff' you are carrying for others and lightened your mood somewhat.Remember. It does NOT belong to you.
Having read your previous thoughtful and thought provoking posts feel that you have let youself become passively overladen. It sounds like it has been a lifelong family role for you?? No wonder your sister got you back there again, because it feels more comfortable for her that way. You long overdue protest was not heeded as she didn't wish to change.
You have very clearly stated what you feel you want to do this week. Focus on that and how you best can be kind to yourself to carry those aims through.(See PS)
Hope the party for your aunt goes well. Don't feel bad about having non positive feelings about people.Feel them.Then let them go. They can have failings they cant help but it is not your fault. Keep explaining that to yourself.
Best wishes
Chris
UK
PS A little bit of chocolate perhaps!
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