Information and opinions on Schizophrenia from DCROY9633 at SchizophreniaConnection.com. The HealthCentral Network, Inc. (www.HealthCentral.com) is one of the top health destinations on the Web, with more than 35 condition-specific, wellness and general health Web properties. http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/86453 en-us 15 120 19 http://www.healthcentral.com/images/hc_logo_sm.gif http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/ http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/86453/32875/related Fri Jul 04 18:29:56 -0400 2008 DCROY9633 This will not be a long post -- it is just that something occurred to me this morning that is doubtless crystal clear to others...but a new thought to me.    I have worried for much of my life about my weight and other control issues.  I have spent quite a lot of my time and effort trying to maintain at an artificially low weight.  I have weighed myself and counted calories most days since I was 12.  I turned 50 last... http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/86453/32875/related http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/86453/32789/do-not-tell Thu Jul 03 17:31:17 -0400 2008 DCROY9633 Do Not Tell Me   Do not tell me that you love me my beloved for I remember well the agony of the mornings When I would rather not have wakened when Four a.m. meant two three hours preciously Alone but knowing that it wouldn't last those singular Hours propping up God in the corner with my prayers I could have lit the candle with my white-hot anger But I left it alone   Do not tell me that you love me my beloved for those... http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/86453/32789/do-not-tell http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/86453/31558/much-self Sat Jun 21 14:54:37 -0400 2008 DCROY9633 I often feel I spend too much time thinking about myself -- worrying about the illness, medication side effects, and whether I am being productive.  I even worry about writing posts at this site because I fear all of them show how self-focused I am.  Sometimes I count the number of times I use "I" and it is a real eye-opener.  I hate dwelling on myself so much, but I don't know what to do about it.   Activity helps. ... http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/86453/31558/much-self http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/86453/30410/thoughts Mon Jun 09 21:55:06 -0400 2008 DCROY9633 I think that "a few thoughts" is accurate.  I can't seem to think.  I have no motivation.  There are so many things I would love to do -- create art and music, read, hang out with friends, travel, take some community classes, etc.  But right now I can't pull myself out of bed to do anything, so I lie there and watch TV much of the day.  I feel irritable.  I feel somewhat depressed.  I am in the process of... http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/86453/30410/thoughts http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/86453/29413/zyprexa Fri May 30 13:42:00 -0400 2008 DCROY9633 Well, I was taken off the Geodon yesterday because it was wreaking havoc on me physically and mentally.  I was beginning to have the hallmark signs of a relapse.  Today I pick up a prescription for Zyprexa Zydis.  I have been on Zyprexa, but not the Zydis that is absorbed under the tongue.  I would appreciate hearing from anyone who has used Zydis.    This is a great disappointment to me because I had... http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/86453/29413/zyprexa http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/86453/28851/report Sun May 25 12:23:51 -0400 2008 DCROY9633 It has been 3 weeks since my last post.  I was rockin' along just fine on Geodon until this last week.  Then everything went to hell again.  Depression, which I had not experienced in 4 years; racing thoughts; constant cacophony of music playing in my head; ruminations about what the future will bring; insomnia; fears, etc.  I haven't called my psychiatrist yet, but I guess I will this coming week and ask him about increasing... http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/86453/28851/report http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/86453/27355/report-stuff Thu May 08 14:12:49 -0400 2008 DCROY9633 I have now been on Geodon for a little over 2 weeks.  I have lost from 176 to 168, which is a wonderful start.  And so soon, too.  I didn't have to wait to start feeling the GOOD side effects.  It is making me hypomanic, too, which feels great after 11 yrs of sleeping 12-14 hrs a day and feeling groggy the rest of the day.  I am not having any trouble sleeping now, either.  I tried Geodon once before and the... http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/86453/27355/report-stuff http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/86453/26103/report Sat Apr 26 12:21:53 -0400 2008 DCROY9633 I only switched from Zyprexa to Geodon last Tuesday (4 days ago) and I am already feeling much better!  Now I am not sleeping and eating my days away.  I am actually awake all day and am eating much less.  I have already lost 2 lbs and bragged to my Weight Watchers group about it this morning.   Now I feel like I can go ahead and step into the future and start living again, rather than merely existing.  I feel excited... http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/86453/26103/report http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/86453/25698/mankind Tue Apr 22 11:59:45 -0400 2008 DCROY9633 Poem7.2006 -- The Ranks of Mankind Oh I dream of an uninterrupted beautiful feast that might Be my future that will put an end to that infernal night That has constituted the past But will it last nothing lasts except the hunger for it And I forage like an animal of the field Only seeing what lies at my feet   Oh my how I wish to put behind me all the pain Lowering in the field like a beast replete with yoke and whip Traveling yet... http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/86453/25698/mankind http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/86453/25696/treating Tue Apr 22 11:53:51 -0400 2008 DCROY9633 Today is my dreaded quarterly visit to my psychiatrist of long-standing.  I usually leave there feeling worse, because I know he has not listened to me, he has just written me the same prescriptions.    I am going to try something new.  Mom is going with me today and she is going to ask him to treat the whole person rather than the illness.  He has always listened to her better than he has me.  I am ready to... http://www.healthcentral.com/schizophrenia/c/86453/25696/treating