When under stress, I think of weird, funny thoughts which always make me feel better. Stuff normal people would think as very strange and only another person who has what I have would understand. I could tell you but fear you would think I was very strange. My dreams are real, and involve these obsessions and weird stuff. I laugh at it but at the same time realise it will not happen. My dreams have come true on the odd occasion though, words, phrases, places, events, themes, I have seen in dream constantly happen in real life. I am starting to think I may be psychic. Afterall, it runs in my family. All the harder to distinguish reality from fantasy. My mother constantly checks up on me, making sure I am looking after myself. In a group of people where all them are making noise, I drift away, preferring my own solitude to mixing with them too much. My latest thoughts are weird, but all involve the same theme. I would die if I to you what they were, here goes, actually it is stuff you would find on a soap opera or black comedy, and dreams are like events from tv shows and movies, involving me as the central character. Lately I have been thinking and I know this is weird, but hopefully you will understand, about having a boyfriend and wearing different disguises to look like different people to spice the marriage up, making the neighbours think the guy was dating different people. I told you it was weird, but I am thinking maybe it is not so weird afterall. Please don't think I am a nutter. At the same time I know most people never have to worry about what I do, such as if I will ever get married, have kids, or at least make friends in the real world. I have friends, well they are older, or they have medical conditions. I am not friends with anyone my own age, and I am young. I don't do the normal things young people do such as go out, have fun and take photos of my friends and put them on facebook. My friends on facebook I do not know and I have no photos of friends. I guess I am weird or just perhaps different. Can anyone else relate?
First let me say that I don't feel as though you are a "Nutter." The best part of this site is that we never judge each other. We are here for support and geniunely care about the welfare of others.
When I was first "sick" I thought I was a prophet. The voices in my head were thoughts of other people. Having many years of trying to find a "cure" has lead me down many paths. I know now that I am not a prophet and that I don't know why I hear voices. I do know that taking my meds has helped live my life.
I will tell you that even though you may have this illness you can live a full, happy, productive life.
I wish you the best.
I'd like to add one more thing, journaling has really helped me. Getting thoughts out and actually seeing them is a great help.
Take good care,
Dave