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I love him so much, please help me figure this out!!

By sunny Wednesday, May 07, 2008

This would be a very long story if I started from the beginning, so I will just say a few things about our relationship to start then maybe, I will write the story entirely for people to read and tell me what they think of it all later.

 

My boyfriend has all the classic symptoms of schizophrenia. We have been to the doctor, and she prescribed Zyprexa. But she gave him the diagnosis of Bipolar, which at first I believed to be true, but the more and more symptoms that started happening, the more I read about this illness. I am one of the most caring and compassionate people you will ever meet. This entire thing is killing me, watching the person I love turn into someone I dont even know.

 

Where do I start..... first let me say, I need help!!! I want to know how to get him to take his medicine??? Please help me figure out a way to let him know how dangerous it is to keep letting himself relapse back into another reality. He was taking his medication regular, but it does make him gain weight, which he is totally against. I believe that he denies that he is even ill.  Denial comes with every type of illness, I do know this.  I cannot get the doctor to speak to me about this, because he has taken every contact off of this list, so that no one can talk with the doctor because of HIPPA LAWS!!!! Which in this case SUCKS!!!!! You can imagine the torment I have been thru when he stops taking his medicine. He hasnt taken a pill since April 8th, and right now, he seems quiet, and struggling with not letting me see him talk with the voices in his head. It hasnt gotten to the point of him speaking with someone uncontrollably, because Zyprexa stays in your system I guess for awhile, but all the while, I can see more and more withdrawal, which happens before the delusions. Anyway in his case this is how it happens.

Can anyone please help me??!!  I want to try and convince him to take his medication without confrontation. We have spoke with it when he first stopped taking it. I said why are you not taking the medicine. He says I am. I know he is lying then, because I counted the pills in the bottle, after he started being really hateful to me. He never even acknowledged my birthday, because when he first stops taking his meds, he gets very defensive, hyper, and his words destroy me!!!!

 

Please help!!!   Sunny

5/ 7/08 9:42am

Sunny I can empathize with your pain and hurt and feeling of helplessness and my heart aches for you and your special friend and love. Feel free to read my posts under "SocialWorker" and a great deal of them are lament. I too have been trying to help and cope with my finacee who has sz. I have been hurt deeply and made the central cause/grand master of her delusions and hallucinations. I too, like you, have a caring heart of gold and have gone the extra mile to love and cherish her.

 

I think the best advice I got was from Christina Bruni who recommended I read "I'm not sick I don't need help." It has outstanding information on how to best support your friend. Please please read this book Sunny. It will be very helpful and may well give you hope too.

 

Take good care of yourself.

 

Social Worker (Marty)

Christina Bruni, Health Guide
5/ 8/08 8:12pm

Hello Sunny,

 

It's not going to make a difference whether you convince him right now, tomorrow, or two weeks from today to take his meds.

 

You have to read the book, I Am Not Sick, I Don't Need Help! to get an idea of the productive, most useful way to "convince" someone to take meds and accept treatment.

 

You are not alone.  Within the past two weeks, at least 10 people have expressed the same frustration you presented now.

 

The main thing is to gain his trust, and couch what you say in a certain way instead of telling him, "Why aren't you taking your meds?  Don't you know you'll get sick?"  Because asking those questions isn't the way to go.

 

Read the book by Dr. Xavier Amador that I mentioned.  This psychologist was able to get his brother Enrique into treatment and having a better life, after years and years of his brother refusing to take the meds.


If you can read the book, it will help you.

 

Best,

Chri

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By sunny— Last Modified: 12/20/10, First Published: 05/07/08