SEVERE  PSYCHOLOGICAL PAIN  UNTIL I MADE IT MY SELF,, THIS IS ILLOGICAL I SAID ! IT CAN'T BE HAPINING.BUT ONLY AFTER TEN YEARS OF STRUGGLE LIVING WITH  DELUSIONS AND HALLUCINATIONS !!

I BEGAN BUILDING A FRESH SERIOUS  PERSONALITY  I WENT BACK THE SAME WAY I CAME THROUGH TRYING TO BE AS NORMAL  WITH PEOPLE  AS I COULD  IT TOOK SEVERAL YEARS  .IT WAS LIKE BEING A BABY AGAIN EXCEPT WITH SOME EXPERIENCE.ALONG THE WAY I TRIED TO CHANGE THE WAY I WAS LIVING OR USED TO BEFORE I HAD THE ILLNESS., I TRIED HONESTY , TRUTHFULNESS, LOVE AND ALL THAT WAS GOOD IN OTHER PEOPLE AND THAT HELPED A LOT .IT IS SOMEHOW INTERESTING TO GO RIGHT AND STRAIGHT AND BE SICK AT THE SAME TIME SEEING HOW TOUGH IT WAS   AND HOW HARD FOR OTHERS TO IMMAGINE THE MECHANISM OFTHE ILLNESS. I REALLY WISH I COULD GET IN BETWEEN THE DISEASE AND THE SICK FOR A  MINUTE JUST TO SAY  LOOK THE OTHER WAY TO SEE REALITY THEY HAVE BEEN DIVERTED FROM AND REVERSE THE PAIN, MANOEUVER DISRUPTIVES AND START THIER LIFIE AGAIN.