Interesting conversation

Last night before I went to bed I had a conversation with my uncle which was sparked by my status update on myspace, and as gloomy as the subject matter was, I think for the most part it was a good conversation. Before I joined this site, my grama and I had abruptly ended living arrangements with her then boyfriend. Because of his drinking and unpredictable behavior, we up and moved within 5 days of getting a restraining order. We found a new place across town and only a couple people know where we live now. Since we moved, we've had money issues, and I feel guilty. I help pay for groceries when I can, and help keep the house in order, because it helps me believe that I'm making the situation just a little better. I want to get a job, but I can't function in social environments. I'm looking for doctors in my area who take Medicaid so that I can get everything straightened out, but until then, I feel like I'm trying to break through a brick wall. I feel like if I could just learn to like being around people, everything will be better, but its hard for people without the problem to understand how hard it is. I've been talking to an old friend of mine that I knew in high school. We found each other over myspace (its good for that, I've found) a couple months ago and have been texting, and even planning a reunion of sorts upon my return for my brother's wedding. In recent conversations, in the past week or so, I hadn't been able to shake the feeling that he was lying to me. For most of the week I didn't say anything, but on Wednesday I told him to leave me alone until he was ready to be honest with me. We ended up arguing for almost 3 hours the next day until I just stopped trying. I don't feel like I need that kind of stress on top of what I'm already going through, but I can't help but wonder if my suspicious feelings were warranted or not. So I spoke to my uncle. I told him about everything that's been going on, both with my home life and with my suspected Schizophrenia symptoms. I'd been hesitant to let him know because so far only around half of the people I've shared my thoughts with have taken me seriously. I was surprised when I received overwhelming support from him. He's always been one of the guys pressuring me to get a job, so when he told me to get help before worrying about anything else, I felt so much better; the more family support I find, the smoother this process seems to be. I can only hope others that are still in the dark will support me as much reguardless of what happens in the future. My family has a tendency to want to split at the seams recently, so I'm hoping. He also told me that he sees things. I don't usually see things; I usually just smell and feel things that aren't there. I never knew he saw things. The knowlege gave me mixed feelings. I thought, he knows what I'm going through, so I have someone to level with now, aside from mom. At the same time, that adds another mark to the number of people in my family that experience hallucinations. On a happier note, its nice to be able to return; my internet was having some issues and I wasn't able to go to very many web sites. But its back :). I will always be grateful that I found this place. You've all helped me so much. Love and Peace -Rain