Social withdrawal

Claudia Krizay Community Member August 01, 2008
  • I have decided to shut the world out.  Reality sucks.  I have lost trust in everyone. One person I believed in has just abandoned and betrayed me.  Real people are cruel.  The people in my head do as I say and are there when I need them and leave when I Have  had enough.  They can be models of real people but they are like puppets and do as I say. They don't hurt me like they do in reality.

    Whe I was 18 I used to drink out of a baby bottle and thought of someone holding me and comforting me.  I would lie onthe carpet with a flannel blanket to cover me.  This person never hurt me- she just loved me and made contact wit hme as if I was her baby.

    My math teacher was God and answered my prayers.

    These people are gone now but I can sit in my room by myself all night and think of things that are funny and laugh.  Silly things that make me laugh.  I can therefore be happy when I think of funny things. 

    I am safe in my own home at night, awake while the real world is sleeping. I can sleeep whe the real world is out partying.

    Far from the madding crowd.  I like that.

    I callthis picture The Demonic Dance.

6 Comments
  • Christina Bruni
    Health Guide
    Aug. 04, 2008

    Hello Claudia,

     

    We are all here now for you and I hope that as you begin to see that there are others who care about you, you will slowly heal from the hurt of what happened.

     

    Regards,

    Chris

    • Claudia Krizay
      Aug. 04, 2008

      Thanks for the kind words.  I am healing slowly but surely.  I can see through the mist that there are people who really DO care.  I have people on my side and agree that this person gave me the short end of the stick.  The person was my therapist.  She decided that she wasn't goingto be a medicare provider for me any longer because...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      Thanks for the kind words.  I am healing slowly but surely.  I can see through the mist that there are people who really DO care.  I have people on my side and agree that this person gave me the short end of the stick.  The person was my therapist.  She decided that she wasn't goingto be a medicare provider for me any longer because she didn't feel like doing the extra paerwork.  This woman mad an exception fo rme in the past and now she changed her tune. I guess she isn't the person I htought she was.

      I had a doctor who had me as his patient for ten years sometimes back who dumped me when I went on Medicare.  I guess some people are money mongers- but thank goodness, not everyone.  Thanks again.  Claudia

  • ysraal
    Aug. 01, 2008

    Dear sis Claudia, I was glad to read your post today and even though i am not a doctor, I will say it is good to just write. I too suffer with this demon illness or blessing depending on which way it is at the time and i am sure you know what I mean. I know that i sometimes, a lot, just want to be by myself and listen to my voices and even though I do talk...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    Dear sis Claudia, I was glad to read your post today and even though i am not a doctor, I will say it is good to just write. I too suffer with this demon illness or blessing depending on which way it is at the time and i am sure you know what I mean. I know that i sometimes, a lot, just want to be by myself and listen to my voices and even though I do talk back to them, we kind of understand each other. Enjoy your life. May God bless you.

    • Claudia Krizay
      Aug. 02, 2008

      It is so nice when I find someone who understands and can identify with me. It is nice because someone else has the experience and thinks it is okay and is not accusing me of being a weirdo.  I am sure you agree and seem to that this is how I cope and it isn't hurting anyone else or myself to talk to the people in my mind- thank you for reading my post...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      It is so nice when I find someone who understands and can identify with me. It is nice because someone else has the experience and thinks it is okay and is not accusing me of being a weirdo.  I am sure you agree and seem to that this is how I cope and it isn't hurting anyone else or myself to talk to the people in my mind- thank you for reading my post and sharing your thoughts and experinces with me- have a beautiful day.  Feel free to write to me any time- Claudia

    • ysraal
      Aug. 02, 2008

      Dear sis, I am in the same boat on the same  body of water called life. I would not be able to respect myself if I would not lend a helping hand when I can. Besides I too feel and do the same thing. It is alright as far as I am concerned. It helps to cope ad recharge the batteries so to speak. I will write again. Also, I am glad for this site just to know...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      Dear sis, I am in the same boat on the same  body of water called life. I would not be able to respect myself if I would not lend a helping hand when I can. Besides I too feel and do the same thing. It is alright as far as I am concerned. It helps to cope ad recharge the batteries so to speak. I will write again. Also, I am glad for this site just to know that I am not alone with this illness.

    • Claudia Krizay
      Aug. 02, 2008

      Thanks for writing back.  Is n't it nice to know you arer not alone.  It is  nice for me. 

      it is nice that someone agrees with me.  You have indeed been helpful to me, that is by communicating and showing empathy. 

       

      Claudia

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