Acute

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Anger, wrath,

Fire:

My spirit, on the run,

Igniting fire inside of me

Sizzling as grease

Dribbling down a gas burner

Agitated,

I have been awake too long this night

I cannot find my medicine…

Darkness,

Somewhere in the distance but not too far away,

I hear a bell ringing I cannot see the light?

Not a church bell tolling

Though,

Like a doorbell

Encased inside the meninges of my brain,

Cotton filled, disconnected wires

Disorganization:

Thoughts rampant, out of control

I cannot find my medicine…

Clothes strewn all over the

Yellowed tile floor,

Stained with skid marks,

That moment when I ran away

I cannot get the words out-

What is real and what is not?

Confusion and disillusionment –

Somewhere I lost myself,

Along the way to nowhere-

I CANNOT FIND MY MEDICINE?

Anger, agitation,

Someone set fire to my soul

Extreme pain stabs my heart, wracks my brain

I cannot find…

My medicine?

Restless night after night,

Voices telling me to die, (only I can hear?)

Although – no one has ever lived here,

Not even I-so it seems that way at times…

I don’t know what is happening because

The world has been turned upside down

My soul-the very essence of me is screaming

From my gut, scared and on the run from the

Demons that inhabit every mind space, time, and place

I walk alone…

I live in fear of everything happening if only

I could find…

If only people knew,

I cannot find my

Home space or

My place in this topsy-turvy crazy world

That has completely gone insane,

Except for myself so what

Difference does it make that

On this fanatical summer night-

I cannot find my medicine?!

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Claudia Krizay

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