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Looking for support ideas on possible interventions.

My ex-wife was diagnosed with schizophrenia about 7 years after we divorced (she had no symptoms of the disorder during our 18 year marriage so it really suprised me that it hit her so late in life). She has been married to a physician for about 3 years now and he is planning to divorce her as her delusions have taken its toll on him. She inconsistently takes her meds and she's never stayed long enough with the same psychiatrist to find a good med match. She is a professional in the medical field but can no longer maintain employment because her symptoms in the work place are so dysfuntional.

 

My precious daughter who is a young adult wants to care for her, especially since her mother's husband plans to book without offering her any support. I think it will be too much for my daughter to handle. I know it will.

 

Is there an assisted living program appropriate for my children's mother? Something of quality that will leave her with her dignity. Any other intervention ideas?

 

Thank you so much.

 

A question of curiosity, is sz on the rise or am I just unlucky? I've posted about my ex-girlfriend who became sz last year at age 52, with no family history of it. There is no family history of it in my ex-wife's family either. Also perplexing to me is how rock solid a person my ex-wife was. She was the last person in the world that anyone who knew her would have thought could become sz. It just came out of nowhere.

 

Marty

 

Peace and love to all.

 

 

 

 

Anonymous
Tiffiny
6/ 4/08 12:52am

I am going through a similar problem right now. If you have her apply for social security disability they will cover her financial situation if she qualifies. I dont know where you are located but I am in AZ and I called DES (department of Economic security) and there is a program that they know of that is through AHCCCS that gets them long term care. you can either have someone from their company come and care for her at her home or take her to a mental facility where she will stay. Or you can have a loved one willing to take on the responsibility of caring for her. If you have someone willing then they can go get their Fingerprint card, CPR and first Aid certification,and a Negative TB shot. once they have that then they can go to a contracted business for caregivers and get hired through them to care for your loved one. If everything goes good with the evaluations, they will pay her up to 40 hours per week to stay home and care for your loved one. You can also have them send a certified provider come in and check up on her for her mental illness and have her under constant treatment.

6/ 4/08 8:58am

Thank you Tiffany. Sandy is actually living in AZ at this time. I will inform my children of these resources there. Thanks for being so thoughtful.

 

Marty

6/ 4/08 3:53am

Marty my sz came out of nowhere. One minute I was fine the very next I was psychotic. It was like a light switch was thrown.There is nobody else in my immediate family that has sz. I have a cousin with it, that's all. Treatment of mine includes working with my pdoc and taking my meds. I've seen the same pdoc for the last twenty years or so. I trust him. Some days I don't , but he knows my history. I found  that consistency is key in recovery. That includes taking meds and working with the same pdoc.

  I don't know the stats on sz or any interventions. But I do know what I stated before will work.

  Early on in my sz, I turned over many pdocs and stopped my meds, and changed my meds alot. I know that it takes time for a med to work, sometimes as much as 6 months.

  I wish you well and hope that your ex-wife gets the help she needs. Playing with meds isn't gonna make her better.

 

God bless,

 

David

6/ 4/08 8:53am

Thanks David. I guess it's a wait and see situation. Hopefully Sandy will stay with the same pdoc and make much better progress. Thanks for caring and sharing your insites. Have a beautiful day!

 

Marty

6/ 6/08 4:41pm

Hello Social Worker,


May I suggest your ex-wife is a candidate for a group home?

 

The catch is, it has to be a supportive environment where the staff are professionals as well as caring and empathetic.  Research, research, research is key.

 

It doesn't have to be long-term, it can be just for when she needs it.

 

When I was in the halfway house, a number of older adults lived there.

 

Best,

Chris

6/ 9/08 8:48am

Well hello there Christina, the world class writer with a gigantic heart! Thanks for the option to consider. I will pass it on the my children and Sandy's siblings.

 

Have the most beautiful day Christina!

 

Marty  Smile

8/19/08 10:55am

Hi Marty,

I had to comment to your share post because I have recently been diagnosed with sz, My symptoms started the last few years of my 15 year marrige to my ex husband he took my kids away from me for over a year and only thinks I'm bipolar, I can just imagine what he would do if he finds out about my living with sz.

 

I was rock solid too, I did it all and many called me super mom!

Untill the panick attacks started and depression kicked in.

I kept many of my symptoms to myself since I felt ashamed that I was not strong enough to fight against my illness.

 

I know he was just trying to protect the children but I needed support and help from him which he could not give me because the respect he had for me flew out the window when I got sick ,he even became verbally abusive to me which made me get sicker and sicker I tried so hard to get myself together but couldnt cope anymore .

 

To realize that I would never be the same again and living without my children was killing me untill I met a man much like yourself very supportive and stood by me while I fought in court to get my children back . He also stood by me when I was finally diagnosed with sz and was put on Celexa,Antidepresant ,Risperidone & Seroquel (antiphsycotics ).

 

I today am much like I was before I got sick thanks to being put on the right meds.

 

Your ex wife needs support from someone who beleives in her and will help through the hard times untill she to gets put on medications that work for her.

 

I want to thank you for being so understanding and the fact that you realize that you trying to help will benefit your children!

 

Mimi

8/27/08 10:04am

Hi Mimi. Thanks for the kind words. I am so happy for you that you were diagnosed and have the proper medications to help you cope adaptively with sz and that you have a supportive friend. I think I mentioned that my ex-wife left me before her mental illness manifested, although her leaving the marriage for another man was so out of character for her as she was a virtuous woman...that in itself was a sign there was something amiss with her. Her psychosis didn't show until some 5 years after we divorced. Even more interesting is I had another serious relationship with a woman who had emotional maladjustments and then later had a breakdown and became sz overnight. It was so difficult to bear Mimi as I loved her deeply and gave all of myself to her. She blamed me for all her hallucinations and delusions, that I was causing them...broke my heart over and over again as I gave so much to love her and save her and then to have her say that I was evil and trying to harm her. I stayed with her another year to help her get on meds as her family was in denial and offered no practical support - she also turned her family against me by saying many untrue things about me - I gave so much that it was destroying me Mimi. Eventually, her family and psychotic beliefs and delusions led to her asking me to leave. Trruly, my interventions saved her life in the beginning as she was abusing prescription drugs that were killing her. A long story to share, I made myself vulnerable and childlike in openess and trust and love her so purely. I later found that she had been hiding her prescription drug abuse from me - she had been taking ritilin for 2 years of our relationship (speed). She has betrayed and lied to me after I had given her the purest of sacred love and devotion. Truly, no one could love a woman more. I wrote her many love songs and had them professionally recorded, thousaands of cards, emails, love notes, gifts, - most women would have treasured me and been envious she had been given so much. My love for her was way over the top Mimi. I suffered horribly and deserved none of the pain I went through. Truly, my actions and love shown to her was holy.

 

Have a beautiful day and smile happy thoughts.

 

Marty 

 

 

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