Caring and Wellness

Don Fraser Community Member May 20, 2009
  •    For many of us who have been diagnosed and treated for schizophrenia, finding and maintaining a strong support system has been instrumental in our recovery process.

        For others, whose loved ones are unwell, learning the ins and outs of the medical system help give us the edge we need and the vehicle for understanding.

     It's hard to ignore the big factor here and that is, fear of the unknown, but the first terms we can agree on is understanding and that is born out of mutual respect and, and of course, love.

           My family stood by me throughout my illness and I will always be grateful to them and if it wasn't for them I wouldn't function as I do today or be able to work for, for that matter.

    Even though there were times when we were distant, or when I was distracted by hallucinations or delusions, they were always there for me.

    So you see the care-giver's role is to be patient and not give up hope, knowing that the patient will get better someday.        My mother used to say "I knew you were in there somewhere"           And it's the duty of the patient to try to recognize that his/her loved ones are available (like the health - care professional) to help when help is needed.

        Hopefully when the dust settles and the clouds disappear, you can start those healthy relationships again.

     

    Take care

     

    Don Fraser

4 Comments
  • Christina Bruni
    Health Guide
    May. 20, 2009

    Hi Don,

     

    What you said is true.  Sometimes it's not a question of whether others can reach us, it's a question of our being able to reach out to accept their love and help.

     

    You are lucky your family stood by you.

     

    I enjoy your SharePosts and look forward to more.

     

    Regards,

    Christina

  • Donna-1
    May. 21, 2009

    My aunt is suffering from Alzheimer's and was recently placed in an assisted living center.  She can no longer drive.  She has so much pain from a fall sometime back that she rarely does much but lie in bed.  She is a very needy person -- the more you do for her, the more she wants you to do.

     

    Your post brought to my attention that at one...

    RHMLucky777

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    My aunt is suffering from Alzheimer's and was recently placed in an assisted living center.  She can no longer drive.  She has so much pain from a fall sometime back that she rarely does much but lie in bed.  She is a very needy person -- the more you do for her, the more she wants you to do.

     

    Your post brought to my attention that at one time, I was the needy one.  I had to live with my parents.  I couldn't even help with the housework because I was always hiding in my room.  I couldn't even string my thoughts together on a good day.  I let Mom and Dad take care of everything from paying my divorce attorney to doing the housework.

     

    The irony of the situation is that no one in my family wants to do anything for my aunt.  We all avoid her.  My brother says he has no sympathy for her because she does little but complain.  Maybe that is why he didn't have much sympathy for me.  Part of it, I'm sure, is that he did not understand my illness and I doubt he made any effort to look for information.  I tried to talk to him about it and he wouldn't listen.  The same way I am dealing with my aunt.  She calls and wants me to buy her makeup, take her to the grocery store, find her a hair salon that doesn't charge a lot, call her doctor and demand more meds, etc.  I have woefully disregarded her needs and I feel ashamed.

     

    Thank you for reminding me how important compassion is.

     

    Carolyn

  • David Robbins
    May. 21, 2009

    Don, I agree that family support is needed. I know that from a different angle. My family is not supportive. They have never discussed my "illness."

     

    My little brother is developmentally disabled. He lives in a complex geared for the disabled. I bought Mike some clothes that he needed. I visit as often as I can. I emailed my father about Mike. I titled...

    RHMLucky777

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    Don, I agree that family support is needed. I know that from a different angle. My family is not supportive. They have never discussed my "illness."

     

    My little brother is developmentally disabled. He lives in a complex geared for the disabled. I bought Mike some clothes that he needed. I visit as often as I can. I emailed my father about Mike. I titled it "Mike the forgotten child."

     

    My father emailed me back with some harsh words about Mike. Dad's words reconfirms his lack of caring for Mike and I.

     

    I get support from Margaret. Before I met her I relied on the professionals for support. In a sense they are my true family.

     

    They say you can pick your friends, but not your family. Can I have a second choice? I do not rely on my biological for anything. I rely on my "chosen" family.

     

    I am happy that there are supportive families out there. It makes a difference.

     

    Dave

     

     

  • Janet
    May. 20, 2009

    I too credit my family how far I have come while living with schizoaffective disorder. They have stuck by me in both bad times as well as good times. My parents in particular came to see every day I ever spent in a hospital and for that I am so grateful. I also must give credit to my psychiatrist and to all the hospital staff that helped me through those difficult...

    RHMLucky777

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    I too credit my family how far I have come while living with schizoaffective disorder. They have stuck by me in both bad times as well as good times. My parents in particular came to see every day I ever spent in a hospital and for that I am so grateful. I also must give credit to my psychiatrist and to all the hospital staff that helped me through those difficult times in my life.I know I have not also been the best patient while in the hospital but that did not stop the staff or my doctor from trying to help me!