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Monday, August 24, 2009 Emma asks

Q: Is there anything else I can do?

Hello, my other half has paranoid Schzophrenia. he does suffer with depression and i try to 'Buoy' him up and be as posistive as possible.He has accused me many times of cheating on him, even when we were on holiday he sat bolt upright at 5 in the morning and said that I had just got back into bed - even though the door was locked and he had the key!I have gone with him to various appointments to the doctor to see what they say, and they don't seem to be able to do anything apart from give him pills. I love him very much, but I don't know what to do anymore. It is becoming increasingly hard to stay posistive for him and myself.is there anything that you can recommend, any support groups or something that I could encourage him to go to? His mood swings are awful, and he gets very down, even when I rationalise things for him, he can stay angry/ depressed for quite a while afterwards.Please can you give me some advice?

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Answers (3)
8/25/09 8:47am

Hello Emma,

 

Call the National Alliance on Mental Illness in the U.S. if you live here at (800) 950-NAMI (6264) to get the name and phone number of the local affiliate in your city or town.  They have family support meetings for people whose loved ones have a mental illness.

 

You may want to see if your other half would like some peace of mind.  Maybe word your concern to him that you'd like him to have peace of mind and feel better.  I'm sure he would rather not feel depressed or be angry so often.

 

Alas, his paranoia about you cheating on hiim may be part of the illness and he needs to get a handle on it.  He needs to work with his doctor if he is still having symptoms.  Also he must take his medication every day as prescribed in order to have the best possible chance of recovery.  If the medication doesn't seem to work his doctor should be willing, after a good enough run with one medication, to try any other drug to see which one drug or combination of drugs works the best.

 

Depression is often part of schizophrenia or schizoaffective and sometimes an antidepressant is prescribed along with the SZ meds.

 

You may also want to let your other half know that his behavior is taking a toll on you.  You can tell him what you need from him and what you need him to do, as half of the couple you have this right.

 

I would offer to go with him to counseling, or to drive him there.

 

Carolyn is right, being in this relationship you will need ongoing support of your own and that is where your own therapist and NAMI would help greatly.

 

Regards,

Christina

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8/25/09 8:19am

It sounds to me that you may be the one who needs counseling.  And don't take that wrong; I am sincere.  You are dealing with a lot and it must get to you at times.  It might help to have someone to talk to about it.

 

I saw this problem with my grandparents.  They were in their 70's and although he had always acted mighty strange, the paranoia was new.  He was convinced that grandmother was running around on him.  Once she even had to call the police because he attacked her in a jealous rage.  They put him in the hospital for a while.  She retreated to a nice, quiet assisted living place where she could play cards with her friends and they ended up never living together again.  She had every right to do so.

 

Take care of yourself.  It sounds like you are giving this your all, and I admire and respect that, but it is often the caregiver who wears out first in such a relationship.

 

Carolyn

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8/25/09 10:49am

Hi Emma,

 

NAMI also has peer support groups for people diagnosed with mental illnesses.  Your local affiliate will give you the information about this too.

 

Regards,

Christina

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