Thursday, June 18, 2009 PLEASE HELP ME! asks

Q: my mother is SICK. I need help so I can help her now!

please! I need help! my mother was diagnosed with bipolar and borderline personality disorders when i was 15, i am now 23 yrs old with a family of my own.

since that time she has struggled with doctors and medications. recently divorced from my father after a 23 yr marriage from hell she is living alone on the other side of town from me. for over a year she has made claims that someone is
"stalking" her, entering her home, rearranging things that only she would know are out of place but never taking anything..also that this person has been poisoning her animals with the rotten remains of small animals. so she collects these remains that she feels are "evidence" and stores them in her freezer. she is absolutely convinced this person has installed GPS units in her vehicle and implanted wireless cameras and microphones in her walls and ceilings. (she put black tape over these holes in the walls and ceilings). she refuses to keep her cell phone on for long periods of time because she thinks its being monitored and tracked. she has lost over 70 lbs during this time, isolated herself to her home. Stays awake til early morning in hope she will "catch" him, then sleeps all day.The sheriff deputies respond to her "disturbance" calls at least 3 times a week sometimes more often. the department, myself and family are at a loss of what to do. we have attempted intervention, one on one talks but these always end in tears and arguments. i fear for her health- i fear that she has acquired some type of paranoia disorder. she refuses to seek the help of professionals, and will not reason or agree with any advice that is offered.

I am the closest family member to her, i live with constant accusations that i "don't care", or "don't believe her". I have searched her house for all those things examined every hole that is covered with tape-including her vehicle. changed her door knobs and dead bolts, offered her dinners and a "safe" place to sleep if she is afraid. all of which she denies.

i fear she has gone past the point of help and that she needs immediate professional help/hospitalization. I don't know who to call to assist me.

all i know is her condition worsens by the day and i'm afraid my children will never have a healthy grandma or worse never get the opportunity to know her.

if there is anyone out there that can help me, PLEASE. i need advice a phone number, something! before i lose her completely.

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Answers (2)

Christina Bruni, Health Guide

6/18/09 8:56pm

Hello,

I would enlist the sheriff or police to phone in advance the local reputable psychiatric hospital and tell them in no uncertain terms that your mother needs to be admitted when they take her in. You say she has lost 70 lbs., so that makes her a danger to herself, the criteria for admittance to a hospital, as well as the fact that she is not sleeping at all. If you don't know the name of a local psychiatric hospital, you can find out. Call the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) at their national hotline, (800) 950-NAMI (6264) and get the name and phone number of their local affiliate in your city or town. Someone at the local affiliate near you should know of a hospital you can take your mother to, by ambulance if necessary and against her will if necessary. NAMI of course is in the U.S. so if you are not in the U.S., call your local hospital to see if they have a psych ward or if they can recommend a hospital with a psychiatric unit.

Your mother will go kicking and screaming to the hospital and will resent you and not be kind to you after she is committed, so be brave and if this is what you have to do, do it.

Regards,

Christina

mommieharriett

9/ 6/09 8:43pm

in march, 2009, my 34 yr old daughter was diagnosed as a paranoid schizophernic. i took her to the e.r. after first going there and talking with personal, explaining the situation, that it was clear to me there was a mental illness. i advised them that she would not be cooperative if she was aware that she was being admitted for a psyche evaluation. they were wonderful! my daughter was not. i lied to her and told her i was taking her for another medical matter as i w/n confident she would voluntarily go for a pshcye evaluation. as of this day, 09-06-09, she still hates me, d/n trust me and will only talk to me if she absolutely has to. though it is painful, as her mom, i did what i knew had to be done. i was willing to loose what little of her existed in order to get her the help she needed. i have no idea whether she is taking meds, i suspect she has, as she had another episode about 30 days later. since then, i haven't heard of any more episodes.

you are the daughter who now has to be the 'mom' to your mother. it's not about your hurt feelings, but trying to help her when she can't help herself. i share my story in hope that you are strenthened, courageous and lead the way to the medical treatment she needs.

God Bless

momie harriett

Q: my mother is SICK. I need help so I can help her now!

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