Does anyone know of a good way to convince him that they are not poison and will only help him? Please, someone help. It is getting out of control. Thank you.
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Q: My stepson has just recently been diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic. He refuses to take his meds.
Answers (2)
6/11/08 11:45am
Hello lisa,
I am sorry to hear this and understand your frustration.
The key is that you have to stop trying to convince someone he is ill and needs medication.
I will tell you what I tell everyone who asks the same question you are asking now. Refer back to my SharePosts in which I interview Dr. Xavier Amadoor, who has helped tens of thousands of people just like you. Go to the upper right of this page, and type in "Xavier Amador" in the search box and make sure "site" is clicked off. You can read my Q&A with him as a preview.
Immediately: Buy Dr. Amador's book, I Am Not Sick, I Don't Need Help (the 2007 updated edition) and read it, especially the section that relates to how to couch what you say so the person will listen to you.
The key is, you need to establish a relationship of trust with the stepson so that he feels comfortable talking with you. Use the Amador technique, "motivational intervieweing," to link his goals in life to how getting treatment will enable him to achieve the goals.
If he lacks motivation or can't articulate a goal, that could be a "negative symptom" of the schizophrenia, so don't take it personally that he's being lazy or wilfully disregarding treatment.
A refusal to take meds often happens when the person lacks insight that he has an illness. This lack of insight is called anosognosia, and is a symptom of the schizoprhenia.
I recommend the Amador book to everyone who writes in with this frustration. I will continue to recommend it to the next person who writes in (because I'm certain there will be a next person after you.)
There's no quick solution or reveersal. It's not like you have to be able to change the stepson's mind by tomorrow or next Monday. So reading the Amador book and then formulating a strategy based on the techniques of the book is a good first step in influencing the stepson.
I do not get paid to recommend this book. I have read the book. I bought it and interviewed Amador for this Web site.
So please be open to considering and using his techniques, such as LEAP (listen-empathize-agree-partner).
Best regards,
Chri
6/12/08 5:15pm
Empathize with him. Tell him that you know that his illness is extremely difficult to understand and deal with, that you want him to get better, and specificly tell him that you hate to see him suffer. The conversation should focus on him and helping him and not about how frustrating it is for everyone else, no ultimatums.
He may really believe that his medication is poisonous or harmful and there is no point in trying to convince him otherwise. Try to avoid arguing about it. The best bet is to lead him to believe that it is worth a try, that he will have to stay on the medication for a while to see if it will stop the suffering. You could mention that it is better to deal with it now than later.
I know this is very frustrating! I'm dealing with this issue with my father for about the thousandth time in my life. I often wonder how different his life would have been if he was born during my generation.
I really hope that your stepson responds well to the medication. Good luck.
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