Kris and I have been together for two years (lived together for one). Within the 1st 3 days of living with each other she started to have episodes of extreme paranoia, resulting in rage, inability to sleep, and panic... this happens 95% of the time when we venture out to public places. She has told me a great deal about the way she sometimes thinks, & it frightens me for her sake. She believes that people can see "through" her when she meets them and that they think she's "evil." She also believes that she is a "magnet for evil" and that she is being punished by some unknown force. She feels closed in at times, and yesterday confessed that she had the thought of throwing herself out of the car door while driving on the interstate (she was very calm & unemotional when she said this). We went without sleep last night because she believed that something bad was going to happen. I tried hold her and comfort her, but she was seeing things out of the corner of her eyes and it was as if she was about to have a panic attack. She slips into this state where she is in her head, cannot hear me, and cannot/ will not stop the thoughts. Most social gatherings are cut short because she believes that people are some how making fun, being rude, or disregarding her. I'm totally confused as to how to handle/respond to some of the things she is sharing w/me. To be honest a lot of it scares me!! She does not like to speak about her past mental diagnosis, and gets very angry when I suggest that she talk to someone. Kristal becomes another person when the paranoia strikes and I become not only afraid for myself but for her as well. I love Kristal without a doubt & I do not want to see her this unhappy. Anyone???
Q: How do I know if I should ask my girlfriend if she is schizophrenc?
Hello MK,
I am sorry to hear your girlfriend is in such distress.
When you attempt to get her to seek help, you could couch it in terms like these, "I want to talk to you about what's going on. You're upset about what people are doing or saying. Would you like to hear what I think would help? I'd like to take you to someone who could help you with that problem."
Coming out and directly asking her if she has schizophrenia will backfire, because up to 50 percent of the people diagnosed with SZ have a symptom called anosognosia, the lack of awareness that they have an illness. As a result, they refuse medication. I recommend you read Xavier Amador, PhD's book, I Am Not Sick, I Don't Need Help. He gives people techniques on how to couch what to say to a loved one to influence them to seek treatment, including medication. You have to suggest that by staying in treatment and taking meds, you girlfriend will be able to achieve her goals. Trust me, everyone has a life goal or two they'd like to achieve.
It sounds like your girlfriend isn't taking medication, or that if she is, it isn't working as effectively as it could. There are lots of medications to try, and sometimes it takes trial-and-error to find the right one, also, new medications are coming out every day.
She needs help now, and she needs help right away. Reading Amador's book will give you some ideas about how to approach your girlfriend and talk to her. What happened to her didn't come on overnight, and if you take a week or two to read his book, that's fine, because the situation won't be resolved overnight.
Above all, if a person lacks awareness that she has an illness, if she genuinely believes people are out to get her or making fun of her, etc., trying to convince her that she has schizophrenia will defeat the purpose of getting her into treatment. You'll have to resist your natural urge to ask her if she has schizophrenia, because even if she does, it sounds like she's not in a frame of mind where she's willing to accept she needs help.
So you have to talk to her in such a way that you get her to see that getting help would help her be free of the persecution she feels is going on.
I hope you and your girlfriend find some relief and peace of mind.
The bottom line is, she needs to be in treatment, and from what you said, medication might help her.
Regards,
Christina
Hello MK,
(non expert response here, hope you will get other suggestions soon)
So sorry to hear about this scary confused place you find yourself in witnessing your girlfriend in such ongoing distress, and feeling helpless to act.
There is help and relief out there but accessing it is the diffuculty, as your girlfriend is wary and isolates herself in her terror ( a little like a wounded animal that tries to keep others at bay) As you suggest it is getting urgent with talk of dangerous impulsive acts..... You may need to take matters in hand quickly, so you need appropriate phone numbers and a practical plan of emergency psychiatric contact.
From what I understand asking the direct Q (about sz)to someone in your girlfriend's current state of mind will be counter productive. More ,concentrate on her fear (and the other feelings you have, because she has been transmitting to you. Focus simply on them and getting relief for them, and sound positive , hopeful and as you evidently are (loving). She obviously trusts you and deep down wants you to lead her to help and relief.
Good luck,
Chris
UK
retired doc (non psych)
family member with episodic psychosis as yet untreated
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