my son and schizophrenia
Hi my name is Katherine my father is a paranoid schizophernic I think that there is something wrong with my 22 year old son i've noticed a pattern throughout his life lack of motivation can't hold down a job is a constant dreamer of things he wants but wont work to get them buys things on credit cards and wont pay them.Has a real problem with tartiness no matter what it is he is always late. Lies alot throught his teen years i thought maybe it was just a phase but now that he is a man nothing has changed. He always starts out so great at things whether it be a job or sports but he cant keep it up then he just fizzles out. He now has a girlfriend that he is in love with but she is starting to question why he cant hold down a job and is lack of motivation. I spoke to him very gently asking him to please go to a doctor because i notice that there may be something mentally wrong with him he laughed at me and said that there is nothing wrong with him. I dont know what to do anymore i know he needs help. do you think these might be schizophernic symptoms?
Hello Katherine,
The fact that your son is 22 years old, as you know, means in the eyes of the law he's an adult. It's the age factor along with the medical privacy act (HIPPA) that might well prove to be two of the greatest barriers when it comes to getting your son the assistance that he needs. I'd suggest that rather than pursuing the regular channels of trying to talk him into seeing a doctor followed by your trying to talk to the doctor in order to determine what's wrong - I'd suggest that you invite a group consisting of family and friends that your son relates to well and over refreshments initiate the discussion of how positive an experience seeking out and speaking with a care giver can be. There is one rather large cautionary note in this suggestion and that is, first, the people that you invite over must have a close relationship with your son and be made aware before they arrive of the agenda. Second, you, perhaps alone or with his girlfriend (if she's aware of what's going on) sit down with your son before the guests begin arriving and tell him how much you love him and what his being well means to you and so many others in the family/friend constellation. Then, when he's not feeling in anyway threatened, tell him that you've invited close friends and family over so that everyone can have an opportunity to tell him how much he means to them and how good it would be for him to see a mental-health care giver so that the many questions remaining unanswered in his mind about his behavior and changes in his behavior can be addressed in a safe environment.
It would be in your best interest at his point to have the names of several doctor's at your fingertips whose schedule you know can accomodate seeing your son in a reasonable amount of time.
I highly recommend that you contact a NAMI group in your area before you proceed any further. NAMI members, as you know, have all had personal experiences with sick friends and loved-one's and are only too willing to share their experiences with you. They have groups that meet on a regular basis as well as individuals in their varying offices that answer questions over the telephone. They are a wonderful resource filled with wonderful people.
The one cautionary note to you from me would be; do not push, cajole, or threaten your son to seek help as those tactics almost never work and, over time, you'll need your son to be able to trust your word implicitly.
You're about to embark on a difficult road, but, with help the course can be made much smoother which will inevitably yield much better results. Good luck.
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