Hello Lane,   I feel I was hedging a bit in my first response.  There's an expression, "If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's a duck."   I'm sorry, but this sounds like schizophrenia or some kind of related disorder to me.   It's taking a toll on your marriage.  A qualifed psychiatrist is the person to diagnose or rule out schizophrenia.  That's why I suggest your wife see one.   Hopefully, it will turn out not to be schizophrenia, but right now it's quacking like a duck in my opinion.   I had a roommate who exhibited paranoia like your wife does, directed at me.  She'd claim I laughed at her when she walked out the door.   Whatever it turns out to be, it hasn't been healthy for either of you, so don't give up until you get a satisfactory answer.   Regards, Christina