worried,   This borders on domestic abuse.  Proceed with caution if you stay in the marriage.  It will not get better at the rate this is going.  If you stay, try to get your husband involved in counseling with you.  Though if this has been going on for at least three years, that's not a good sign that it will get better.   I can't give you advice.  I can only say that if this was happening to me, I wouldn't stick around.  You might want to stay, the choice is yours.   You will have an extra hurdle to clear if your husband doesn't want to go to counseling.  In fact, you might never clear that hurdle if he isn't willing to change his behavior.  If he isn't willing to change his behavior, this will be what it's like for the rest of your marriage.   Regards, Chris