• Jen Jen
    January 14, 2011
    I am 99% sure my dad has paranoid schizophrenia and I am struggling with it greatly.
    Jen Jen
    January 14, 2011

    I think he has paranoid schizophrenia.  He thinks the govt put a chip in him and they can see and hear everything he does.  He thinks anyone and everyone around him is connected and scheming against him.  I can't use my cell phone around him or he'll think i'm 'connected.' He even thinks other family members are in on 'it'.  He is very unhappy and angry and says he wants them dead.  I know he needs treatment, I've brought it up several times but he gets very very angry and hostile and denies having a problem because it's 'all real'.  I am afraid if I baker act him that it will only make things worse, what if he gets out after the 72 hours and has lost his trust in the only person he had left? (me).  What if he is angry and seeks revenge even more?  What do you think?  Thank you for your time.

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FROM OUR EXPERTS

  • Christina Bruni
    Health Guide
    January 16, 2011
    Christina Bruni
    Health Guide
    January 16, 2011

    Jen,

     

    Your Dad is playing games with you when he says do you want him to kill the doctor and kill your friends.

     

    How old are you?  Where is your mother?  Do you not have anyone else who can help you get your father admitted to a psych hospital?  Because he needs treatment.

     

    It sounds like he has anosognosia which is a symptom of the SZ where the person lacks the awareness that he has an illness so he refuses treatment because if he's not sick he doesn't need help.

     

    Read my Xavier Amador Part One and Xavier Amador Part Two interviews about this phenomenon and strategies to get your father help.

     

    Your local NAMI chapter in the U.S. if you live here will also be of assistance.  Dial (800) 950-NAMI (6264) to find the name and phone number of the chapter in your city or town.

     

    Do not let yourself be held hostage to your father's manipulation.  He's real suave and will say anything to bully you into doing what he wants which might not be what he needs.

    Based on what you've said: he needs treatment and he needs it now.  And you might have to commit him against his will.

     

    Regards,

    Christina

    • Jen
      Jen
      January 17, 2011
      Jen
      Jen
      January 17, 2011

      Wow, I never though he would be playing games with me.  But I can see what you mean...  Thank you for the information.  I am 22 and my mom and him have been seperated for a while.  There is no one else but me, his other family just calls me and texts me about how crazy he is and they all want me to do something about it.  So based on what I've said do you think the chances are that they will keep him if I baker act him?  I am afraid they'll let him out after three days and he'll very very angry at me. 

      Thanks again for the info, I will definetly use it.

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    • Christina Bruni
      January 18, 2011
      Christina Bruni
      Health Guide
      January 18, 2011

      I'm sorry but the other family members have to step up to the plate: namely, his brothers and sisters if he has any.  You are 22 and can't do this alone.  I recommend you contact your local NAMI for suggestions about how to get him Baker Acted the right way.  Rely on the NAMI family members for support because they've all been in your shoes.  I interviewed a woman who hosts the NAMI Family-to-Family education course that helps you and other family members cope and develop effective strategies for living with a loved one who has a mental illness.  I recommend you take this course as your father's recovery, if indeed he does recover, will not happen quickly or easily.

       

      Some family members have exaggerated their loved one's danger of becoming violent to themselves or others in order to keep the loved one in the hospital.  This is a tough call to make.  Your father is an adult.  You might want to read the Xavier Amador Lessons Learned column in SZ magazine about what family members can do after the fallout from a loved one they've gotten committed against his will.  Because you can deal with the lack of trust.

       

      "Involuntary treatment: rebuilding trust after feelings of betrayal" appeared in the Fall 2007 SZ magazine issue.  He wrote a follow-up in the spring 2008 issue titled "Calling for outside help."  Log on to the SZ magazine web site to get the phone number to obtain back issues with these columns.

       

      Amador believes that motivational interviewing techniques needs to be used more to convince people in denial to accept treatment.  His book (2010 edition) focuses on motivational interviewing techniques.

       

      You have to remember that you are a daughter to your father and you deserve to feel safe and secure in the relationship.  You shouldn't be subject to what your father does when he acts out.  Of course he might be paranoid and delusional because he is sick so you might think he has no control over his behavior.  In that case he needs to be in treatment.

       

      I suggest you ring your local NAMI chapter right now.  I suggest you read what Amador's written.  He has a web site, Xavier Amador too.

       

      Regards,

      Christina

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    • Jen
      Jen
      January 18, 2011
      Jen
      Jen
      January 18, 2011

      Thank you for all of the information, I called Nami already and spoke to one person and got a number to another.  Thanks again.

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    • Helena
      June 13, 2011
      Helena
      June 13, 2011

      Hi I am so glad I found this web page I read about your family and  I feel for you Jen dont try do it all by yourself I did it ware you down I have members of my family with schizophrenia and I try and maybe a lot of the times I help and sometimes not But even do I never met your Dad I am sure he as nice and caring man But Jen he so confuse and loss.Good luck Jen.And thanks Christine for letting us know about Xavier Amador I sure did enjoy listing to him talk.xxxxxxx

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FROM OUR COMMUNITY

  • vivian November 20, 2013
    vivian
    November 20, 2013

    Im so happy because i can relate to this! For some time my mother has had paranoid schizophernia (i made the diagnosis myself) she thinks all her family are conspiring against her and she refers to the people trying to get hher as 'they'. She thinks oour television is watching us, and starts laughing randomly and says random things and expects us to understand. I know its not her fault but im starting to get to a place where i HATE her so much because she makes my life hell. I'm 17 and im the only one willing to realise she has a problem my family are so bloody conservative that they are too embarassed to do anything about it. Lately ive been getting panic attacks and stuff, it gets tiring having to hear your mum accuse you of things you didnt do or to be called sly and niave and siding with 'them' i hate her i dont know what to do. 

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  • Coonnarc June 05, 2012
    Coonnarc
    June 05, 2012
    I have the same prob I no u want to do somthing about it sooooooo bad just leave it it will only make it worse it's like a wild man in the forest that wants to go off and go around the fallen tree but he just is a statue that won't move around the tree just leave it alone he can think that but u are urself don't let him bring u down get on with ur life try to be happy with him don't bring up the slightest problem hope this helps READ MORE
  • meeshell0417 February 02, 2012
    meeshell0417
    February 02, 2012

    i dont know where else to go and i'm soo happy i found this! my dad maybe a little less over a year ago started saying really weird things like..my moms cousin was following him, or that i wasnt really at work and my moms cheating on him and hiding money from him and its gotten worse to where he thinks we have cameras in the tv and computer and that my mom changed her wedding ring and now its 3 rings instead of 1. not only that but he gets very very angry and yells all the time and i dont know what to do! 3 years ago he was kinda having the same episodes and we commited him but they couldnt keep him in the hospital cause they didnt have enough beds and he did okay for a little while but its all recently came back and gotten worse. my dads also very smart and we tried talking him into treatment and he refuses and since we've all grown such a hate for him to just ruining our lives we say things like we're gonna have you commited but he says we dont have proof of anything and hes right. can we still commit him if he denies saying all those things? please i dont know what to do 

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    • Jen
      Jen
      February 02, 2012
      Jen
      Jen
      February 02, 2012

      Hello, I am sorry you are going through this horriblle and confusing situation.  Feel free to e-mail me on yahoo at gijenoora@yahoo.com because I will get it quicker and can reply quicker as well.  You could still have him commited yes, they are used to people who deny the claims that their family makes.  The question is going to be how does he ask when he is with the professionals, I have heard that some people can hide the disease long enough to be relseased.  I think that is rare though.  From all of the research that I have done the person has to be a threat to either themselves or someone else to actually be commited.  Does your father ever make threats?

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  • ohokay January 16, 2011
    ohokay
    January 16, 2011

    My dad has these episodes ever so often, even on medication, but not as frequently or as intense.  I've had to talk him into admitting himself on many occasions.  I've also had to claim that he was a threat to himself or others which is very tricky.  You have to be careful when explaining how he is threatening so as to not get him in trouble with the law nor to lead to a misdiagnosis of another condition.  Do not claim that he is suicidal unless he really is or as a last resort for seeking treatment.  I've had to insist that my dad was a danger to himself because he would carelessly skip too close to traffic and the such.  I can also sympathize with the worry that your dad might lose trust in you as I've actually talked my dad into admitting himself into a psychiatric hospital where he was beaten up by another patient and put in a situation in which he was afraid to fight back.  The outcome was not that he was angry with me at all.  He didn't blame me for it or anything, but after recieving medication, a week later, he was much better.  It's a truly horrible cycle, but your dad will need to receive help in order to at least be better sometimes.  Good luck and hang in there.  Your father is very lucky to have you!

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    • Jen
      Jen
      January 16, 2011
      Jen
      Jen
      January 16, 2011

      Thank you so much for your reply.  I have tried to talk to him about getting help but last time not only did he  say,do you want me to kill the doctor, he asked if i wanted him to kill all of my friends.  So I am terrified to bring it up.  Was there a specific thing that you said that helped you talk to your dad about it? 

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    • otbedell_87
      February 22, 2011
      otbedell_87
      February 22, 2011

      Hello I have schitzophrenia and a daughter that is 9 mounths old and I have great fears of people in this world trying to kill me so i cant be a part of my daughters life. It almost made me cry thinking about my daughter one day having to talk me into going in for treatment. I'm sorry that people like us are so hard to deal with some times I believe we are good people in our hearts or at least were at earlier in life and our condition, or the world being a messed up place in my opinion, has caused us to change and be less careing or even spitefull. I wish you both and your dads the best I hope they can get the help they need in order to remain a part of your lifes. I would recomend you tell your father that you love him but the way things are going with his condition you don't know how much longer you can put up with the stress of being around him. And if your father is openly making threats on peoples lifes that is pretty serious sounding I dono if it is good for you to be around him. Peace.

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