hi, my name is michael and i have been diagnosed with schizophrenia paranoid type.  Been struggling with the extent of my symptoms for about 10 years at present.  due to having this illness along with the symptoms of hallucinations (auditory) and the anxiety from experiencing them, i have noticed another symptom i guess you could say.  before the first signs of schizophrenia appeared i was care free and had no fear though when it developed it hit me like a mac truck and forced me into isolation and regression from the general populace.  through years of testing my fears i finally found the courage to face it head on and over come the horrifying ideals i once thought were true.  i searched inside an in doing so discovered who i am and what i believe or stand for.  that being said i raise a question that i hope at least one of you can answer.  i have thoughts that i suppose you could say are abstract to the norm at least in part where i reside.  i feel as though i cannot connect with an individual on a personal level, relate to them what i think or how i have developed to percieve things.  and the same goes for the opposite, simple things that one would think about everyday problems, the what if notion of things that possibly could occur i've found troubles the people i hold close to me.  for instance, escaping an addiction of sorts appears to bind them afraid of what there life will be like without the things they are addicted too.  another example is doubting there own abilities in everyday situations.  for some reason i dont fully see what is holding them still i comprehend that they are struggling and yet im powerless to help them find there way.  the notions of how i feel or how i live now i cannot seem to get across to them and i feel isolated and repressed yet again.  my psychiatrist said that my mind is on overdrive while im awake an aware, informing me that my mind works 3 to 4 times faster than average.  I suppose my question is, is this illness schizophrenia affecting my intelligence level in any way or fashion?  i think very deep and overanalyze a given situation or problem to come to a conclusion or answer that i am satisfied with.  in this deep thought mode i have discovered things and came to realize the nature of how this illness affects me, i know what my triggers are and experiencing them now i have recognized that with me at least that the auditory verbalizations i would percieve where an extention of my own beliefs and thoughts,  i litterally can hear what i think when i concentrate or if a trigger occurs.  i currently am off medication and am living in a manner of contentment though i am worried that this deep mode of thinking will always be a hindrance of sorts to relate to others or be accepted.  most of my thoughts that i have revolve around awareness, the manner of reality and how it works, and whether or not thoughts such as these are normal to have at the age of 29.  i have sat and pondered on the workings of my perceptions of life and all else that the notions i have come to see or think may be real co inside with quantum physics.  i have never been educated in that field and in fact have never gotten a degree in anything aside from art.  i know that this disease of the mind is degenerative in nature or is believed to be so. could the opposite of my statement also be possible? is my overanalytical way of understanding my illness given rise to a over active mind set? one that has become developed over the passing years. or is it a side affect of my illness?       i hope that one of you can answer this question,  because im fearful of losing a part of me that has come to learn and understand so much.... an also weary of it for the fact of not being able to connect with friends, and family for something that they do not understand or are willing to accept.