How do I communicate affection to my friend that has paranoid schizophrenia
I haven't known him long, but we have had sexual relations. The last episode, he humiliated me and told me that when I was at his house that I was his "pussy." He also told me I was crazy. Then he kept asking me, "What are you?" I am so hurt and angry; yet, I am concerned for him and want to show him tenderness and kindness.
He said he would text me on Sunday and never did. I somehow knew in my heart that he had already dismissed me. When I tried to contact him, he ignored me. I have my own issues with abandonment, so I panicked. I drove to his house and very calmy asked him why he did not contact me. He seemed nervous and told me he was sick and to leave him alone. I am so sad. He then told me that he would help me with my skating but he was not interested in me at all!
I don't understand. He also told me that he was an asshole, so I'm not sure if he is truly just an asshole or a paranoid schizophrenic.
Despite all this, I just want to hold him and tell him it will be okay. I just want to comfort him, so how do I do this?
Hello Shannon,
I am sorry if this is not what you want to hear. I am going to tell you it anyway. You want to hold him and show him you care for him yet he has indicated in no uncertain terms he is unable to return empathy to you. When I hear something like this, I realize the person has schizophrenia however it's hard for me to accept this behavior and excuse it because of the schizophrenia.
If you want to stand by him, you will have a long road ahead and it will be rocky and you will have to deal with his ups and downs. When sex comes into play, sometimes it's hard to detach from a person who is treating you so poorly. There, I've been blunt. You also told us you haven't known him long, so you really have no evidence that he will treat you differently, based on how he's already treated you in the little time you've known him.
Affection is a two-way street and if your friend right now can't give you affection, the choice is yours whether to continue. I wouldn't continue with him out of a fear of abandonment because right now even though he's in your life, he's not there at all for you. He's laid his cards on the table.
If you want to stay with him, you could possibly keep it light and breezy, just as friends, and see how it goes as friends. I wouldn't do things like track him down at his house when he fails to call because that just makes you look desperate. An ongoing relationship with him will involve give-and-take and you might be the one doing more giving at this point in time.
By the way, I know many, many people with schizophrenia and none of them act the way your friend does, so I'm not sure he's acting this way because of the illness.
Regards,
Christina
-
- Ranked Helpful (2)
- Report Abuse
