My mom might suffer schizophrenia.But she doesn't relise it. how to confince her to go to the doctor

Oh Pinky,

I feel for you!

You have struggled so long over the years as a close-connected bewildered witness, first as child/daughter carer,gradually recognising and having to grow 'yourself' up beside and in the shadow of your mother's illness and suffering over those years.

It would be hard enough in parts of the world such as here ,UK, where medical help is more easily available, because the patient with episodic ongoing psychosis usually believes they are 'special' not ill.....so to convince of the need for help is as you say...so difficult/ impossible??

This is where I speak from as I struggle/puzzle to help our 28 year old son with his journey (with schizophrenia  I am sadly really certain now in recent days) Medication and other strategies could help I am sure  if he could see a need...

Bizarrely, if his behaviour became more extreme initial treatment might begin quickly by the authorities stepping in , but I would not wish for that 'crisis' to happen although I know things might move towards that...itself a frightening thought.

Sorry not to be able to give practical suggestions but share your feelings of helplessness for our family loved ones. Don't feel alone.

Chris

Hello Pinky,

I am sorry to hear that your mother is resistant to getting help.

Ordinarily in such a case the technique of "motivational interviewing" helps, whereby you develop a relationship of trust with your loved one, find out what his or her goals are, and when the person seems receptive, you offer your idea that if she was in treatment, she would be able to achieve her goals.

From reading your question, I'm not sure that your mother has goals.  Maybe they simply haven't been articulated to you.  It is possible that with a little coaxing you can find out what her dream is, and begin to talk to her about how she can make it happen.

You say the hallucinations would happen at least once a year, and that is only what you've observed, so it's entirely possible you weren't aware of other episodes.  You were young, a child, and so likely wouldn't have understood or known the severity of what she was going through if you also had to work on the everyday activities of life growing up as a kid.  From what you did know as a kid, it must have been upsetting if not painful to live with a mother who had a mental illness.

What I'll say is that you need to just be there for her, talk to her, develop her trust so that you can suggest she see a professional.  At this point, it doesn't have to be a doctor, it could be a knowledgeable social worker who meets with your mom and then feeds back what he or she thinks is going on.

You are in Indonesia, right?  Maybe there is a bookstore there where you can buy Xavier Amador's book, I Am Not Sick, I Don't Need Help.  He is a psychologist who guides family members in how to coach what they say so that a loved one is influenced to seek help.

I'm sorry to report that there is no quick or easy solution, especially not to a problem that has been going on for quite awhile.  Even with a newly diagnosed person who refuses to take meds, it's an uphill battle to convince them.

The main thing is, refrain from telling your mother that she's sick and needs medication.  That is a no-win situation.  Only bring up the idea of medication after you've gained her trust and you have an opportune moment to suggest what you think might help her feel better.

As you've guessed, the more you try to convince her she's sick, the less likely she is to listen to you.

So I believe reading the Amador book would help as a good first start.

If Indonesia is anything like the United States, a person can't be admitted to a psych hospital unless she is clearly a danger to herself or someone else.  When you feel her life is in danger or that her symptoms have gone too far, then you have to make the choice as to whether you claim she's a real danger to herself or to you or to others.

I wish you the best in what you are going through.

Change won't happen overnight, yet it could happen.

So never give up on your mother.

The tide could turn at any moment.

Regards,

Chri

hi pinky..... im Indonesian too... n now i was a student of psychiatric nursing, may i talk in Indonesia... sure i hope....

Pingky, saya sangat memahami apa yang kamu rasakan... beban yang sangat berat disamping itu keinginan agar ibu menjadi better....

tidak ada orang yang mengalami psikosis menyadari dirinya sakit, melihat kondisi ibu, sebaiknya pingky menghubungi psikiater dikota pingky yang bisa datang ke rumah, sampaikan kondisinya, dan mintalah ia mengunjungi ibu pingky.

karena kondisi ibu Pingky harus minum obat, apa yang terjadi di kepala ibu pingky telah jauh berbeda (sesuatu di cairan otak ibu pingky ada yang terlalu banyak jumlahnya)sehingga hanya dengan obat untuk mengendalikan cara berpikirnya dan menstabilkan emosinya. Percayalah Pingky bahwa segalanya akan menjadi lebih baik, apalagi saya lihat keluarga cukup concern ya.... dan Pingky harus sadar bahwa pingky tidak sendiri dikeluarga, ajak lah bicara anggota keluarga yang laindan musyawarahkan apa yang sebaiknya dilakukan untuk ibu Pingky. APa yang harus pingky katakan ke Ibu? coba pingky lihat apakah ibu ada keluhan fisik, misalnya sering pusing atau apa saja yang bisa membawa ibu untuk mau menelan obat......

kalau boleh tahu dikota mana Ibu pingky berada?

saya ada di depok, bogor dan jakarta