I was diagnosed schizoaffective years ago and still cannot come to grips with it. I have been through many diagnoses over the years (Bi-Polar, BPD, MDD with psychosis) and just don't trust that the doctors really know what's wrong. My illness onset was insidious, starting with depression in high school and progressing to full blown delusions and loss of control by the time I left college. I know that 'something' is wrong. I have lots of negative symptoms and paranoia constantly. Delusions and whispering voices come sometimes, but I can usually keep it together. I am almost 40 now, on disablity, and divorced because my wife couldn't deal with me anymore. I do not have any times when I am 'all better' (remissions), but do seem to cycle very slowly (measured in years). Are there any other possible explanations for my symptoms? Are there any definitive tests (genetic, etc.) out there or on the horizon? Maybe it doesn't matter, but I don't want to be on so many meds, yet I am afraid to go off any. I am costing society over $20,000 per year in meds and all I have to show for it is that I'm still here. I always want another opinion, a more concrete and cureable disease, let it be anything but schizophrenia.
Q: How can I be sure I have this disease?
Hello sadly79676,
Again, as with the other person who posted an "Ask" question, my eyesight is poor so forgive me I can't decipher the name you wrote, is it sadly79676?
You are not alone in what you're going through.
I understand how you feel about wha'ts going on, because it's not easy to come to terms with having a mental illness, especially a diagnosis of schizophrenia. For many years I resisted my own diagnosis of schizophrenia with disastrous outcome: I went off my medication, and relapsed and had to be hospitalized again for two weeks.
A lot of times a person's diagnosis changes over time, so that is not uncommon.
Right now, no blood test exists to confirm a diagnosis of schizophrenia. As you're aware of, the doctors make a diagnosis based on observable behaviors. You've mentioned paranoia and delusions, and that would indicate that whatever you have [put aside the diagnosis for now] falls in the area of schizophrenia symptoms like psychosis. Schioaffective is a combination of a thought disorder and a mood disorder. Some symptoms become more prominent over the years, hence a change from a bipolar to a schizoaffective or schizophrenia diagnosis.
I suggest to deal with your ongoing issues related to your mental health, you join a support group. Call the National Alliance on Mental Illness [NAMI} at (800) 950-NAMI (6264) to find a local affiliate in your area that has a peer support group.
As well, you could write SharePosts here at SchizophreniaConnection. Click on the blue "Connect" menu at the top of this page, and then click "Create a SharePost."
We are a welcoming community and everyone here will treat you with dignity and respect. All of us know what it's like to live every day with schizophrenia.
Regards,
Christina
Dear sadly, happily I can say there is hope out there for you in the form of medications. Meds make my life livable and keep me out of the State hospital. I have been diagnosed with BPD, schizoaffective disorder, major depressive disorder w/psychotic features, and schizophrenia at different times. I think as Christina mentioned, your symptoms can change over time and therefore so may your diagnosis. I believe that since I did not respond to mood stabilizers but did respond to antidepressants and antipsychotics, my diagnosis went from BPD to sza, and then as depression lessened, psychosis and negative symptoms came to the fore and the diagnosis was changed to schizophrenia. At least that is what seems to be true.
What does NOT matter is what you or your doctor choose to call your illness. What DOES matter is that treatment is available. Do you have sz? Do you not? If there is too much stigma attached to a diagnosis of sz there are creative ways you can describe your illness to others if it becomes necessary. I tell employers I have a brain disorder, not that I have mental illness. Somehow they are more receptive to this. Whatever works for you.
I still don't know myself whether I have schizophrenia. Most times I think it is more BPD with psychotic features because I have mania and depression off and on. One therapist thought I had dissociative identity disorder and another thought I had PTSD. But as long as I respond to meds (Olanzapine, Zoloft, Wellbutrin, Deplin) I don't worry about what the illness is called. I let the doctor and insurance people wrangle over that one.
Carolyn
Hang in there , man !!! They didn't know what I had either. They finally started feeding me 2 big doses of anti-psychotic meds daily. That was 4 years ago and I'm 50 and today I feel like a teenager!!! The way I see it, if you're suffering any symptoms go to the doc and have a look at your meds. Find something that works. Schizophrenia is such an individual illness . Some doctors are now even lumping a group of ailments under "The Schizophrenias" because there's so many subtleties involved. With research going full tilt there will be many new treatments in the future. Don't give up !
Sincerely,
Don Fraser
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