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Dear Jen,  For more years than I care to recall I convinced and reconvinced myself that with time, empathy, compassion, and love that somehow my family and I would be able to permeate my son's seeming unwillingness and/or inability to deal affectively with his illness so that ultimately each and every one of us might be spared the possibility of being physically hurt.  We attended countless sessions with some of the finest psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers in the country - and all to no avail.  Just so long as the individual suffering the illness is not cognizant of their illness there is little that we as loved ones can do other than unfortunately, at times, stand too close and be in the proverbial line of fire.  There are too many horror stories concerning loved ones being badly hurt, or worse, because they felt guilty about moving away from the situation.  However, you have little choice other than to protect yourself.  It's all very commendable to want to be 'there' for the person you love but trust me eventually the possibility exponentially increases that you'll be a victim in this tragic scenario.