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Hi once again, Jen - You've indicated to me, once again, very strongly your love and attachment to this person.  I'm certain you're aware of the age-old expression that love is blind and to a certain extent that old adage is true.  There are stages of romantic development that one traverses when falling in love.  Full blown love doesn't just occur all at once.  Slowly but surely we become more and more involved with the other person and, more specifically, we learn to like and love various other aspects of their person and personality over time.  Then, one by one these stages become solidified and all meld together.  That's when we've taken the good, the bad, and the ugly, and with that collectivity all combined we arrive at what's known as the 'moon-juney' stage.  The problem in dealing with any semblance of reality at that stage is that our vision is totally obscured with varying degrees of unrealstic thoughts.  One of those rather pervasive thoughts, for example, is  - with sufficient love and time and attention - I can make this individual better.  Also, the thought that even if you can't 'cure' the one you love, you'll surely be at least able to modify the most negative aspects of their abusive behavior.  Those are the sort of thoughts that all caring and compassionate people want to have and hold onto.  Those are the thoughts of decent people selflessly motivated by love.  There is, however, one huge difference in the situation you find yourself.  The current love of your life is terribly ill and has already started to manifest negative behavior that's beyond even his control.  Don't you think he wants to be able to love you just as any other non-sick person would?  Do you believe for one moment that his mood changes and aggressive tendencies are something that he dearly wants to hold onto as part of his evolving personality?  Of course not!  Well, those questions beg another even larger question for you - How are you going to be able to emotionally and physically control what he himself has no control over?  If you honestly believe that he'll be released from jail having learned and internalized the lesson that hitting you spontaneously is not acceptable then you add a plus one to the positive column of your relationship chart.  If you accept that your friend will willingly and continuously attend sessions with his doctor and take all prescribed medication as ordered - then place another plus one in the positive column of your relationship chart.  Then, as a caveat, ask yourself what sort of father you think he'd make?  Further, ask yourself how, in your mind's eye, you see him reacting to the stressors brought on by additional financial responsibilities.  You can even ask how he'll fair on your wedding day?  If you're willing to ask all those important - no, critical questions - and answer them honestly and come away with a realistic answer saying that it's ok for you to go ahead and marry this man - then who am I or anyone else that's been in a similar situation to tell you not to? I'll leave you with this suggestion, Jen - find someone close at hand who's a professional that you can sit down and talk with about your ankst and your pain and your love.  Do not; however, proceed with a wedding contract prior to your having that chat for if you do it will only be in retrospect that you remember these discussions with even more pain and ankst than your feeling right now.  My very best wishes for your ultimate happiness.