Tuesday, August 26, 2008 pkyle23 asks

Q: schizophrenic who doesnt think he has a problem?

I have a boyfriend who will make things up, and gets emotional because i dont believe him. I seriously think he believes his lies. He has been in the army once, and just signed back up, and is due to leave on Sept. 9th! is there anything i can do? He has tried to kill me on numberious occasions telling me that it is "the evil spirits" or telling me that he blacked out! although i should have called the police, i didnt. I am now 6months pregnant with his son; and there is nothing i would like more than to see him get better...but he doesnt think theres anything wrong with him. PLEASE...is there anything i can do considering the fact that we are not married? I would hurry up and marry him before his departure date, but he currently left and is seeing another woman. But in the long run, this is still my sons father! PLEASE HELP!

Kylee

Answers (3)

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Christina Bruni

8/26/08 7:08pm

Hello pkyle 23,

With all due respect, I'm going to be blunt: you want to marry this man after what he did to you?

Respect yourself, respect the life of your unborn child, and GET OUT.

The guy tried to kill you, and now he's with another woman.

Maybe he'll try to kill her, or maybe by some miracle he'll treat the woman right.

My answer is to cut your losses.

Live strong.

You are the only best role model I see your child having.

You can do it, you can care for a child and for yourself at the same time.

But if you stay with this guy, you're putting the two of you in danger.

Dr. Phil, who I am absolutely no fan of, tells us that we teach people how to treat us. Staying in the relationship you are giving this guy the signal that he has the right to abuse you.

Sorry if this is harsh, it's the truth as I see it.

Please carefully consider the road you go down and try not to be fueled by your emotions or your feeling that you won't be able to survive without him.

You can do it on your own.

Regards,

Chris

Chris

8/27/08 4:21am

Hello Kylie,

Yes, I would have to agree with Christina . You must look after yourself and your unborn child.Feel for your distress and anguish.
As you have hinted ,your bofriend's behaviour, is ,at the very least, unpredictable and impulsive and at its worst downright dangerous, and you have been a victim.

With hindsight, for his own best interests as well as your safety, police 'should' have been called, but I know things are never so simple, so please don't think I am judgemental when I say this. Sometimes it is just imposible to act.

More importantly for the future...Please take care!

What I would add is that although just now he is away from you, you should just try and put an emergency safety plan in place in case he enters your life again suddenly and misinterprets the situation in a dangerous way. Have phone numbers ready to contact. Maybe even a (prearranged)coded signal to a trusted friend who could call emergency services fast on your behalf if you were alone and in danger with him.Perhaps get some professional advice about this? Your developing pregnancy might itself trigger irrational responses in him in his untreated psychotic state.

Sorry if I appear alarmist here, but I believe it is best to have prepared for the worst, while hoping for the best, that is of course a healthy outcome for you and your baby!

Chris

family member with untreated sz

David Robbins

8/27/08 1:10pm

This man is dangerous. If he's untreated and violent you need to protect you and your child from him. If past behaviors aren't resolved present and future are gonna be the same. That's Dr. Phil too. Have an exit plan ready. I would not under any circumstance want to be with that person. Untreated sz is dangerous. Yes he believes his lies because that's his reality. I'm not your father and you can make your own decisions. But this one is not right. Your baby should be your first concern. Your job is to protect that child. Having that man around isn't gonna help. We have all said protect yourself. Do it for your baby. Keep us posted please. Your welfare is of concern for me.

Q: schizophrenic who doesnt think he has a problem?

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