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Hello amy,   He IS his own self, it's just that he's had a psychotic episode.  Part of dealing with what happened is to be in shock and feel numb, and hope against hope and normalize, to want things to be better and to make right in one's mind what happened to you.   You need to know that recovery is not a quick and easy process; an episode comes on suddenly or gradually, but either way it builds up to that and neither can a person come down quickly.  Your boyfriend needs to give himself as much time as he needs to recover and not rush things.   With love and patience for himself your boyfriend will begin to heal.  If he's in denial that he's sick, and refuses medication, he will have a lot harder row to hoe.  You know this and I'm sorry to say this but it is true.   We cannot always have the life we expected, after a diagnosis of a mental illness, but though our life is different, it can be better.  Hundreds of thousands of people every day make the choice to live in recovery with an open mind and open heart.   Myself, I'm wary of this idea that a person has to live up to society's expectation for him.  There is no shame in having schizophrenia, it's a medical condition, not a lifestyle choice or a personal weakness or personality trait.   Best wishes for you and your boyfriend as he begins to recover and find his way back to himself.  He IS there.   Regards, Chris