I have probably had schizophrenic experiences for about 20 years now. In 1994 I went to a psychiatrist and got medication which in all honestly did help a lot. After a few months I no longer had problems hearing voices in my head constantly or periodically having episodes of what seemed to me like would be like having a dream only your awake not asleep and you semi understand that it wasn't real. When I say I stopped hearing voices in my head I mean in the sense that I was no longer hearing words, phrases, names,etc that would repeat a lot or things that logic would tell you have to be in your head because of the fact that nobody else was around such as the dream states I described.
However, what would still happen was when I was out somewhere where there was a fair amount of people or noise I would hear or think I hear people talking about me. The things that I would hear of course would always be negative and give me the impression that I had done something that had caused trouble for someone else. As much as I'd try to believe that this stuff was not real it was difficult to believe. I'd get upset because I'd wonder why nobody would tell me what I did. Whenever I'd ask someone close to me about this (I didn't ask too many people really though for obvious reasons)they'd always say that they didn't know anything and that if there was something surely someone would tell me and that I wasn't the kind of person that really ever did anything to have someone say anything about.
A year after I started taking the medicine I got married. During the first few years I did okay despite the fact that I would hear things in situations as I described above. Then about 6 years ago I seemed to start to hear all kinds of things constantly. This lasted a year or two. I switched medication, but Don't think it helped a whole lot. Things calmed down a little for a short time, but I seem to go through phases now.
My question is, when you hear voices, how do you hear them? Do the voices tell you to do things? Do they say negative stuff to you or say things to make you paranoid or do you hear things more like I do where it sounds like it's coming from outside you. Like real people when your out somewhere or when theres more noise? Also, are the things sz's get paranoid about greatly varied or do they follow a general vain such as it's always negative about yourself or someones out to get you, etc?
Anything you could tell me would be greatly appreciated and sorry this was so long, but this is the first opportunity I've ever had to actually talk to another person who is sz.
Thank you for your answer. I really appreciate it. I may take you up on your offer to talk with you further.